Is your partner STD free? Here's how you can have THAT talk

Don't neglect your safety. Photo: Shutterstock/IndiaPicture

So you're dating this guy and you get along like house on fire. Things are pretty much spicing up. And you've reached a point where you want to take things to the bedroom. You start going through the pros and cons in your head. But before you are fully convinced about giving him the green signal, there's one more thing you need to consider. Is he STD free?

Yes, it's an awkward conversation to have; and yes, it can totally mortify your man. Even talking about STDs and being tested for it is uncomfortable, it is also unavoidable. After all, sexually-transmitted infections are a serious matter, and it is absolutely okay for you to be concerned about his sexual health--especially when you know your man has been with multiple partners before you.

So, if you are the precipice of taking your relationship forward and are wondering how to go about having this talk with him--here's help.

It's All About the Right Timing
Picture this: You're in the middle of a very steamy make-out session and you know things are only going to go uphill from here. Suddenly, your guy starts talking about his favourite football team. That's a big dampener for your lady boner, and you would be right to be pissed about it. Now imagine, a very steamy session where instead of him talking about sports you pop this question: "Darling, when was the last time you got yourself tested for STDs?"

An ill-timed convo will make the situation even more awkward, and strain your relationsip. Worse yet, in the heat of the moment he might not tell you the truth. So, find the right time, the right place, and the right mood. Bringing it up while discussing about whether or not you're ready to take the plunge is a better idea than when he's ready to slap on that condom.

And the Right Tone & Intention
"I want a full-proof assurance that you won't infect me when we have sex." Ouch! That almost sounds like a verbal slap. You need to be a little careful with your tone there, girl. Also you don't want to make him sound like some untrustworthy philanderer just because he's been with women before you. Hence, a calm tone should be your approach.

After all, you can state your concerns minus the accusatory tone. You can even make it sound like a suggestion more than a demand or a doubt, you know? Better still, propose to get tested together. That way, both of you are assured of safety. Some loving gestures can also help you get by. Hold his hands, look into his eyes, and let him know that your expectations are only resulting from your willingness to build a future with him.

Also read: 5 funny thoughts every woman has during sex

Be Confident
Yes, it's going to be awkward; but come on it is your goddam right. You need to know what you're getting into. Who else will take care of your health if you don't? So, be confident and firm with him when you have the conversation.

You May Need to Handle His Bruised Ego
Okay, so there are chances of you being faced with "but I wear a condom every time" kind of a response. In that case, maintain your cool, and explain that it's not just about AIDS or HIV. Educate him about the chances of contracting other serious sexually-transmitted diseases like gonorrhea and herpes, which are also transmitted through skin-to-skin contact and oral sex. 

Moreover, sometimes physical barriers aren't enough. What if the condom slips and tears? Turn the conversation around, and ask him: " What if you acquire an infection from me?" That should do the trick. 

How About a Sultry Suggestion?
Have the conversation, but bring your most seductive ways on board. Your charm can actually make having the talk easier. So in a sultry, alluring tone tell him that being sure of it will lower your inhibitions and lead to better sex life with him. In al probability, he will happily comply.

If He Still Doesn't Budge...
Then you really need to rethink your relationship. If he genuinely cares about you, he should be willing to do this much--it's just one blood test that you are willing to get done too. After all what kind of a lover refuses to give reassurance to his partner?