What does it mean to be a feminist in a relationship?

We feminists are not cold-hearted, man-hating witches that we are assumed to be.

Sarwat Fatima Sarwat Fatima
जून 15, 2017
You can be a feminist and in a happy relationship. One has got nothing to do with the other. Photo Courtesy: YouTube/ YRF

 

First things first, what exactly do you gather when I tell you that I am a feminist? Do you assume that I am a bitter, man-hating woman whose sole purpose in life is to put down men? If yes, then you are highly mistaken. All I, a feminist, advocate for is gender equality and the freedom for women to make choices. With that out of the way, let me assure you that no feminist in the world is revolted by men or the idea of a relationship. In fact, I am in one and quite happy--just so that you know.

But, yes being a feminist in a relationship comes with its fair share of hard work. For instance, I am never okay with gender stereotypes. Here's an example: when I am told that I should not let my husband enter the kitchen or cook meals because it's my domain--it irks me. You see, hunger is not gender specific. So, if a man feels hungry, he is free to enter and kitchen and cook. What does gender have to do with it anyway?

Being a feminist that I am, I have tried to erase boundaries within the periphery of my house and my relationship that accompany the so-called 'fairer sex.' To be honest, it does take a lot of work trying to make people understand equality can exist--even after you have tied the knot. I strongly oppose the saying 'feminist until you are married ' with all my might. Being a woman should never mean giving up on your dreams, ambitions, and wishes. And it shouldn't matter if you are in a relationship because the rules don't change.

There is always the fear of being misconstrued, but I don't shy away from voicing my opinion at all. And if I were to tell you that my husband would be away from home for three months because he has been assigned a project in a far-flung country, many wouldn't bat an eyelid. But, if I were to say that I would be leaving my house unmanned and my husband to pursue a great professional opportunity in a foreign land, all hell would break loose. Why? Because women, once they are married, are expected to take care of their family and not go out chasing their dreams. And that's exactly why we need feminism in our lives. It's doesn't matter at all that I am a woman, a wife, a daughter-in-law, or a mother--I should be bestowed with equal opportunities and the freedom to choose.

And that's exactly what feminism means in a happy relationship. 

Also read: Does your date want to pay your bill? Let him--it's the least he can do to make up for the misogyny unleashed on women by his kind

Also read: Women are no longer waiting for their well-settled prince charming. Here's proof that they're self-sufficient

 

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