Love me but don't touch me: All you need to know about overcoming sexual frigidity

Ýouth has got nothing to do with your sex drive. Photo: Shutterstock/IndiaPicture

You are young, wild, and carefree. But, when it comes to sex--you recoil.

You are not alone. Just because you are in the prime of your youth doesn't mean your sex drive can't falter. Yes, it can be embarrassing to admit. Maybe you're often plagued by guilt and find yourself closing up whevever the topic is broached. Maybe you have no idea why it happens, and you blame yourself.

You are sexually frigid, and it is nothing to be embarrassed about. Here is all that you need to know. 

What Is Sexual Frigidity
In case you are wondering what the term means anyway--let us break it down for you. In simple words, it means you are unable to get sexually aroused, often denying penetration. "It's a very common problem. Interestingly, it is the younger lot who suffers from it more", says Dr Parul Tank, consultant psychiatrist and therapist, Nimai Healthcare, Mumbai.

Why Does It Happen
Sex, an otherwise pleasurable act is a nightmare if you suffer from female sexual arousal disorder (FSAD). And the frequent guilt trips you take make things worse. But, before you self-diagnose yourself as 'weird', you need to review your life.

"Sexual frigidity is a broad-based term, and many psychological factors contribute to it. The emotional causes include fear of sex, bad experiences in the past, childhood abuse, mistrust, and strict parenting. The physical causes can range from lack of natural lubrication to vaginal infection, which causes a lot pain", explains Tank.

Lack of libido is nothing to be embarrassed about. Photo: Shutterstock/IndiaPicture

Course of Action
Talk to your partner and let him know what's exactly going on. Chances are he might be blaming himself for your ordeal. Once you're done with that, you need to recognize the cause. Ask yourself this question: is it the pain that repulses you or a thought that takes control of your brain as you attempt lovemaking.

If it is purely physical, book yourself an appointment with a good gynaecologist. Now, if it is the brain you are unable to take control of, you need to consult a therapist.

Is It Treatable
Yes. That's the good news.

"Therapists begin by examining the mental and sexual health history of the person. A detailed session helps us understand the root cause behind the aversion. In most cases, it is due to the wrong notions, which are cultivated from a tender age. Also, lack of sex education, anxiety, depression, and a disturbed lifestyle are some of the reasons responsible for FSAD", says Tank.

In case you wondering how to explain all this to your partner, here's the solution: ask him to tag along for a relationship counseling session. A supportive partner is an integral part of the process. How can you even begin to cope with problem, if your bae keeps pestering you for sex, without giving two hoots about you?

So, don't just suffer in silence. Talk it out and do what needs to be done.

Also read: Bored to death in bed? Here is how you can bring sexy back into your relationship