Tina Dabi can marry whoever she wants. So can the rest of us

Butt out Hindu Mahasabha--it's none of your beeswax.

Sarwat Fatima Sarwat Fatima Dec 02, 2016
The problem here has more to do with patriarchy than mere religious differences. Photo courtesy: Facebook/ Tina.dabi

Love in the times of Hindu Mahasabha is complicated, political, and painted with hues of communalism. As if love marriages in India were not complicated already, major irritants like love jihad and ghar vapsi are making the deal even thornier.

Long gone are the days when the only hurdle a couple had to face was convincing each other's families and relatives. And it was no easy feat, let us remind you. Years of haggling and bucket full of tears later, the families would finally give their consent and couples, exhausted after tirelessly battling for months, would tie the knot (the lucky ones, of course).

Also read: Is he in love with you? Here are 4 ways you can tell

Now, things have changed drastically. Your personal matter is no longer just your business but the nation's. Imagine your simple love story turning into a matter of national debate, with everyone adding their two cents to it.

We are talking about the picture-perfect love story of 2015 UPSC topper Tina Dabi and second rank holder Athar Aamir-ul Shafi Khan. Stating the obvious: it's an inter-faith match, and people are losing their shit over it, especially the hardliners. They don't care that the country is in the midst of a dire financial crunch or there's growing hostility due to shortage of cash; they however, do care about the matrimonial status of Dabi.

Needless to say, Hindu Mahasabha is strictly against the match, calling it a classic case of love jihad and considering a buddhi-shuddhi yagya to instil some sense into the brains of Dabi's parents, who have no issues with their daughter getting married to a capable Muslim man! Seriously, these morons should perform a buddhi yagya for themselves, first.

The problem here has more to do with patriarchy than mere religious differences. Sadly, a girl in this country is still considered as someone's personal property, first owned by parents and then transferred under the authority of her husband who holds her sole ownership. Maybe, that's why she is expected to robotically transform herself after marriage. But, people like Dabi and Khan are setting a precedent by clearly stating that there will be no conversion and each would be free to follow their own faith. 

In fact, in one of her interviews to the Times of India, Dabi said, "As any freethinking independent woman I am entitled to certain choices. I am very happy with my choice and so is Aamir. Our parents are happy too. But there will always be those elements, that small minority who will always pass negative comments about dating someone from another religion."

Dabi is clear about what she wants and who she wants to get married to, but Hindu Mahasabha has little faith in her sense of judgement. For them, she is just a woman in love, with no intelligence and should be told what to do and what not. They have taken upon themselves to make her realize what a grave mistake she is about to commit, conveniently disregarding her accomplishments and aptitude.

We have just one piece of advice for the idiots criticising Dabi--just fuck off and mind your own business! She is old enough to make her own decisions, so leave her the hell alone. Whether Dabi decides to marry a Khan, Singh, or a D'Souza it is her choice. And no one, even the Hindu Mahasabha, has the right to butt in her business.

Also read: I want a simple wedding, but log kya kahenge? Aargh...

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