Status Single by Sreemoyee Piu Kundu takes an unapologetic look at being a single woman in India

Photo credits : Amaryllis (Manjul Publishing House)/ Facebook

Book: Status Single : The Truth About A Single Woman in India (Paperback)

Author: Sreemoyee Piu Kundu

Publisher: Amaryllis / Manjul Publishing House

No. of pages - 230

Price: Rs 350

'When will you get married?', is the favourite question that floats once a woman hits her twenties. Marriage is the sole criteria to judge the success of a woman's life, even though it's 2018. Sreemoyee Piu Kundu's book documents the experiences of single women across India as they deal with this question in their own unique ways. 'Single' is an umbrella term for the divorced, unmarried, widowed and the abandoned.

Sreemoyee has been credited with the writing of a feminist erotica called Sita's Curse (2014)whose main character is a Gujrati housewife. Her other books include Faraway Music (2013) and You've Got the Wrong Girl (2016).

What clicks?

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As women increasingly become professionals and shift cities, marriage becomes an issue that is no longer about parents getting them grooms or falling in love Bollywood style. With a significant number of working women, lifestyle, space and ambitions have become keywords. Status Single looks at the lives of 3000 odd women who are single. If you are a single, urban woman around or above the age of 30, Status Single will probably resonate very deeply with you. If you aren't, it's a mixed bag.

Photo Courtesy : Manjul Publishing House.

As the book says, there are 73 million single adult women, and the number is enough to make a lot of people pretty uncomfortable. Single women are an odd category-no one quite knows how to deal with them especially if they are 'past the marriageable age' which in India has been agreed upon to be 30 and above. Most of the women are upper class, working in media, software, marketing, journalism, arts, law, IT and the like, and seem to be from one of the four major cities of Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and Kolkata.

What works?

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The book gives a sharp insight into situations that may seem 'normal' for everyone except a single woman. From nosy gynaecologists lecturing upon the immorality of your sex life and lack of babies and a husband to landlords wondering if you in fact are secretly indulging in (haww, haww) pre-marital sex with a lot of men, to colleagues wondering if you will snatch their husbands, the book has it all. Kundu gives a personal account of how she felt when a doctor combined her endometriosis diagnosis and an appraisal of her single status to recommend removal of her uterus.

Photo Courtesy : Manjul Publishing House.

Divya Bhandari faced sexism while trying to get an abortion, as her lifestyle was deemed 'reckless.' In another, we meet telecom professional and single mother Amita Arya, who explains the unique stigma single women face if they happen to have an affair with a married man.The book also lists women who have physical disabilities and the negotiation with an added set of prejudices and taunts. From unmarried to abandoned, its a unique set of issues that single women face.

'Tall, slim and beautiful' and the marriage market

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Sreemoyee's viral letter embedded in the book is not just a peek into Bengali matchmaking process but about how most Indian arranged marriage meetings work. Weight loss and flawless skin and skin tone can get a good husband, by which one means well-settled. Anything apart from this is literally' unwanted'. Ishita Priyadarshani or Sonali Dave battled depression over their body and skin tone because they did not fall into the required category of 'desirable' women.

The book provides reliability, and makes you realise that many are battling similar issues. It gives a sense of camaraderie and probably helps to face the next set of sexism that will be leveled at you for being single.

What doesn't work?

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Since the book mostly looks the experiences of women into their thirties, the twenty-something singles lose out. Theirs is a different kind of battle because they are in the 'marriageable age' bracket. Also, the book isn't about 'happily single' women. It is a road map to the flip sides. Kundu does warn, "Don't get carried away by pictures of solo women travellers and single women buying a Louis Vuitton, because a single woman's life is much more intense than that."

You do hope for the moments of happiness. Though they  do exist, be it the story of Anindita Sarbadhicari who is the happy single mum or the famous transgender mother Gauri Sawant who 'accidentally' becomes a mum, happy stories of being single are few and far in between. Sarika Gangwal and Sonali Sarkar with ambitious and offbeat careers do provide relief helps, but then most stories have a big 'but' making the happy non-existent.

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The second point is clearly the urban set up. Across rural spaces in India, single women have it much worse. Also, the crucial point is that Except for Neeti, whose experiences inspired Sreemoyee to look up the status of single women in India and write the book, there are no instances of rural women. In our country, being single is a privilege that language and an urban setting provides. In villages, being 'single' is not a choice-it's a condition of being abandoned, widowed or not being 'good' enough to be married.

The book is a guide for those who are contemplating single hood by choice. It's like he dossier that lists out possible symptoms of being single and the series of situations one might have to face. Of course one still hopes that single hood is temporary, because of the precise problems one has to face.