Tinder is no place for dating for queer women in India. So where are all the lesbians supposed to go?

What do we want? A female version of Grindr. When do we want it? NOW!

Dipannita Saha Dipannita Saha
मार्च 30, 2017
Tinder definitely has no love in store for queer women. Photo: Shutterstock/IndiaPicture

If you are a queer woman in India, dating can be hard as the cards are stacked against you. And it isn't even about the fact that you live in a country that doesn't recognize LGBTQ rights, nor is it because most women are closeted. It just that there are no avenues to meet women who are into women.

Forget meet cutes in bars or bumping into a fellow queer woman in a library (Oh! What I wouldn't give to make that dream come true)--even online dating is difficult.

When Tinder was launched in India, I actually had huge hopes. Even though their user interface somehow appeared straight AF, I gave Tinder the benefit of doubt. Well, little did I know. Well, the thing is this app just doesn't work for us gay women. For us, Tinder is everything that is wrong with dating apps.

Also read: Dating as a queer woman in India is a b*tch

Are you wondering why? Well here's 5 things that every lesbian woman goes through on Tinder proving it that it definitely has no love in store for us.

There's No Way To Know Where The Person Falls On The Rainbow Spectrum
Except of course if they happen to mention it in their bio. Which is not something many Tinder users do, I mean people even leave their bios blank (such horror). So you're left to play the guessing game.

And for someone like me, who wears her sexuality on the sleeve in addition to her heart, it can get a little depressing. So swipe right and wait for the other person to do the same. And trust me, the wait is worse than waiting for a Sherlock episode.

So They Swiped Right But Are They Really A Woman?
If I had a penny for every time I was catfished, I would probably have a house as big as Ambani's. No, I'm not kidding.

Although Tinder pulls up a person's Facebook account to create a profile, there are still various loopholes. The thing is it is not very difficult to create a fake profile on Facebook, once you do that, voila! Freehand to men to mess with lesbian hearts.

Imagine talking to a really pretty woman for days, who shares your interests and you itching to ask her out, only to receive a message that says, "Can I be honest with you? I'm actually a guy, but I really like you, so can we be friends?" UNMATCH.

Also read: Being single is annoying, but hell, dealing with men is even worse

When Tinder Starts Throwing Men In Your Face
I am yet to figure out how is that even possible. Have these men set their gender as female; does Tinder have a heterosexual propaganda; or am I just out of luck?

When You Wish There Were More Lesbians In The 160km Radius
It's a 160km radius, how's it even possible that there are no lesbian women? Every time Tinder displays the message "there's no one new around you", I swear something dies inside me.


The Threesome Requests From Committed Straight Women
They won't tell you that they are already in a relationship, even their bio would seem like the most perfect bio in the history of Tinder bios. But as you start talking to them, they will start dropping hints, "Have you ever been with a guy?" "Given a chance, would you join in on a threesome with someone and a guy?"

And finally the big reveal, "I know I didn't tell you this before, but I have a boyfriend. And we were looking to spice things up in the bedroom and we really like you. Would you want to join us?"

I unmatch so fast on these women that my phone often goes flying off my hand.

Also read: I went for queer speed dating and this is what happened

The thing is, gay men in India still have it easy. I mean, they had PlanetRomeo way back in 2002, at a time when not many people were open to online dating--let alone same-sex online dating. And now these lucky men have Grindr, which is designed specifically for them. Lucky a**holes, I tell you. And the worst part is no matter how many times the women have tried to lesbianize Grindr, they have failed miserably.

It is a little hard to believe that there might still be hope for gay women in India. There are "elitist" apps like Her, which is exclusively available for iPhone users. *sigh*

Maybe, I should just quit Tinder once and for all, or maybe wait for that woman to right swipe on me too. I may just grow old waiting, while clutching my phone in my hand.


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