Surprise! Women don't spread their legs just for sex

It's a different thing that men can spread their legs while women can't. Photo Courtesy: Pinterest

Last month our team went to various colleges for recruitment purposes. I was a part of that team too. I had never done recruitment before. Never wore blazers or trousers. But I have heard that a nice kurta and jeans is the best office wear for women. I wear that often. I also wear sarees and suits with dupattas; shorts and skirts too. However, call it my luck or a sheer coincidence, I was wearing a pair of ripped jeans on the day of the recruitment.A woman of authority, wearing something like ripped jeans, is not taken seriously. Don't then. The world is too serious already. The interesting bit however was when almost after a month of the recruitment someone said, "Madam came and sat with her legs spread on the table."

Well, it's not wrong. I had spread my legs. But so did the men present there. And not just towards the authority but also towards the candidates. What angle were their legs spread at, I didn't calculate. Neither did the person who commented on my way of sitting I'm sure. After all, it's only when people see a woman sitting in such a position that their mind's geometry boxes open and they start calculating the degree at which the woman's legs are spread.

Does this not tell something about the Indian society? The answer to what it means to be a woman in the 'cultural' Indian society can easily be determined by the way one travels in public transports. Be it buses, trains or even airplanes, if you get the middle seat and there are men sitting on both sides, half your seat is already occupied. Why, you ask? It's simple. After their tiring ride to the bus stops, men need to keep their hands on the hand rest and slide into their seats with their legs spread at a sixty degree angle. Unless of course all the seats are occupied by men, in which case an adjustment can be reached by asking them to join their legs. Now, a woman can't ask the men to reduce their sixty degree spread legs, so she joins her legs instead and adjusts into the space provided (or left?). A woman cannot ask because she belongs to a 'good family' and so doesn't want people to look at her like they want to know her rate for the night.

Manspreading

Almost three years ago, a campaign was started on social media against manspreading . But what is manspreading? When a man spreads his legs too much, making a 'V' shape with his legs, especially in public transports, and therefore taking more space than required, it is 'manspreading'. Because of the campaigning, a conversation about 'decent manners' was generated. People even filed police complaints about the same.

However, it is important to understand that this is not just about manners. It is about the virility associated with men spreading their legs. When a man spreads his legs, he doesn't think about it. It isn't a deliberate action to incite people. It's just that men aren't told of any other way to sit, while women, from their very childhood are told to sit with their legs joined together.

This idea of how to sit depending on one's gender is so ingrained that if a man sits cross legged or with joined knees, he is called a eunuch and the very women who are victims of manspreading don't shy away from giving muffled grins. The same logic applies when a woman spreads her legs and sits: other women will call them 'manly'. It's common to call women who talk loudly, or spread their legs, or are into body building for instance; 'lesbian' and 'manly'.

Just because I don't walk with the sophistication of a cat and spread my legs while sitting, people are shocked when I cry over little things or swoon over Shahrukh Khan's songs. After all, how can a 'manly' woman do such 'girlish' things?

Just two days ago, I saw the Canadian prime minister on a magazine cover. Here, I don't need to remind you of the popularity of Justin Trudeau. So, he was sitting on a chair with his legs spread on both sides. People called it manspreading, but such a sexy manspreading that no one had any objections with it.

Now I'm not saying that we should have complaints about Trudeau's posture. In fact, the responses to this pictures, especially of women, suggests that spreading of legs is directly associated to a man's virility. And therefore, a picture of Trudeau sitting with his legs spread is more appealing than perhaps a picture of Trudeau standing straight.

Now I'm not saying that we should have complaints about Trudeau's posture. Photo Courtesy: Facebook

Talking about 'appeal', a photograph of a woman with her legs spread is also appealing. However, there is a difference between these two kinds of 'appeal'. While the man's photograph is 'attractive', similar photograph of a woman is considered to be 'inviting'. Given below are photographs of Justin Trudeau (left) and singer Niki Minaj (right). They are both sitting in the same position but the expression on their faces is enough to tell the difference of spreading legs that I am talking about.

This is why women from 'good households' don't spread their legs in public, only when they are alone.

And parents? "Why would you travel in the bus alone? So and so person is going after two days, go with them. Or else your brother will drop you."

Despite all this, thousands of women from small towns and villages of U.P. and Haryana come to cities like Delhi travelling in roadways buses. Legs tightly joined together, trying not to 'invite' men because they are travelling alone. 99% men in those buses might not even look at women with 'wrong' intentions, but women have to be careful because they have taken the risk of travelling alone.

Women in our houses don't get to sleep till late. Not because they have to wake up early and do household chores. But because it will be a disaster if an elder member of the family sees a woman sleeping. After all there is no control over the spreading of legs when one sleeps.

Since a woman is not a mind or a soul but merely a body, every movement of this body can become sexually arousing for men. Be it walking in a tight T-shirt, the movement of breasts while climbing down the stairs, or the butts that are in sight when women are ahead of men on escalators, everything is just to incite men, even smiling and rolling eyes while talking, isn't it?

After all, we are all animals. Men and women. It's a different thing that men can spread their legs while women can't.