International Men's Day: 8 men narrate their harrowing experiences of being stalked by women

Yes, men can be bullied and stalked too. Photo Courtesy: Pixabay

"You are a lucky man, I am so jealous of you," this is the one line that men usually get to hear in three cases: If they finally settle down with the girl of their dreams, if they hit jackpot, and well-if they're approached/hit on by a woman.

Now, there's obviously nothing wrong with approaching, but sometimes you know, women too can make men uncomfortable with their advances. We've seen Arshi Khan do it to Hiten Tejwani in Bigg Boss, we've heard Hrithik Roshan alleging that Kangana Ranaut stalked him, more importantly; we've heard men around us mentioning about it. But we never take them seriously.

Folks, unfortunately, stalking and sexual harassment happen with men too. And yes, many women are capable of doing it.

"It started with her asking for notes and went on to finding excuses to study alone with me. I had no idea what stalking meant since we were just in school. But the fact that she made certain sexual advances during those study sessions made me uncomfortable. I started ignoring, but I had absolutely no idea what to do when she started following me to the tuition centre and back home every day," recollects my friend Tarun Sahni, 26.

Sometimes, it is spruced with a hint of blackmailing and lies too.

"She was my best friend's sister and was six years younger to me. When she confessed her fondness for me, I thought it was just a childish crush, but then she said she wanted to have sex with me. When I denied, she threatened to tell my best friend that I had taken advantage of her. For months I ignored my best friend due to the fear and also blocked her from everywhere. But the blackmailing resumed when I accidentally bumped into her at a friend's wedding six months later. Her presence was intimidating to say the least and it made me feel helpless," says the 25-year old Saurabh Sain, who still shudders at remembering the girl's face now.

In fact, the story of Ronnie Mathur, 29 proves that even men face workplace harassment: "It used to happen in office. She didn't exactly stalk me, but she would keep staring at me incessantly the whole day. I was uncomfortable to say the least, yet I couldn't muster the courage to go up to her and ask her to stop. My friends thought I should be thanking my stars and feeling lucky. But it really wasn't the case. It is only after she resigned that I got some relief."

And men aren't even spared on the social media.

"We became friends on Facebook and started chatting regularly. I didn't realize when those friendly chats turned into an obsessive behaviour from her side. She would ping me continuously if I didn't respond to her messages within seconds. In fact, she would keep track of every friend of mine and every activity of mine on social media, often questioning me about why other women were liking my posts. When I finally got fed up and blocked her, she threatened to commit suicide if I didn't hear her out. I was scared and annoyed at the same time," says Meet Aggarwal, 33.

We all know how scarring it is when it happens to you at a tender age, when you're not even aware of how brutal the world outside is. But no one can understand it better than the 23-year-old Shivam Goel.

"I was brilliant with numbers. So when my math teacher called me to the staff room to discuss about a mathematics Olympiad, I was ecstatic. 'What's there in your pocket?' she enquired and slid her hand inside my front pocket and stared at me while she clinched my thigh through the pocket lining. It didn't feel right and I was so scared that I refused to participate in the Olympiad that year," he says.

Workplace, schools, social media, how could metros be sexual-harassment-free then?

"You won't believe, but this actually happened with me during my metro ride back home. While waiting for my station patiently in a jam-packed train, this girl brushed past me and looked at me in a peculiar manner as she made her way into the metro. Going by the way she stared at me, I thought the close physical contact might make her uncomfortable so I turned around with my back facing towards her. Having lost her balance, she held on to my shoulder and when I turned around again she put her hand on my lower back moving it further down slowly. I immediately moved away and couldn't believe what had happened. Even if I had reprimanded her in front of everyone, who would have believed me?" says Shaurya Setia, 31.

And if you think that only women have to be cautious while enjoying themselves in the club, you're wrong. What happened with the 28-year-old Anant Suri is proof.

"At first I was pleasantly surprised when this girl offered to buy me a drink in the club. It was all okay till she dragged me to the dance floor and started dancing closely. I pulled my friends along since I didn't want to seem rude. To be honest, I didn't like her and was only flattered by her gesture. I thought she would understand, but she along with her girl friends chose to follow my car after the party and kept ringing my door bell till 3:00 a.m. in the morning. Trust me it really wasn't funny," he explains.

We've talked about workplace harassment only, but it seems like it's not only the creepy colleague always. Sometimes, the bosses can be equally weird.

"My boss, it was. She would ask me to drop her back home and would rest her head on my shoulder in the car. But one day, she started feeling my arm while doing so. I didn't react then, however, from the next day onwards, I started making excuses and staying late in office so as to avoid giving her a lift. I guess she sensed it and started yelling at me every morning for absolutely no reason. I guess, it was her way of getting back at me, but I really was scared. I had no option but to look for other jobs within a month of joining this company," says Karan Saluja, 30.

I believe this is proof enough for us all to be slightly more sensitive towards men and encourage them to speak up. Because you know what? We're all human beings in the end and we are all prone to harassment and consent is a word for all of us, you see.