Do you live in constant fear of getting raped? You are not alone

To  whoever said 'live your life to the fullest', we have a serious question to ask: How in the world are we supposed to practice your wonderful preachings' with the fear of sexual assault, lurking in the back of our minds--ALL THE TIME--no matter where we go, or what we do?

Science calls it virginitiphobia. What can you possibly call something so excruciatingly tormenting and agonizing, yet so readily accepted by all women as their cross to bear? We say, 'readily accepted', because of the way women are expected to act a certain way in order to avoid inviting it.

What happened with the salwar-kameez clad, 27-year-old Shreya, on her bus ride back home from college, simply reiterates the fact that there's no stopping a man with a sick mentality.

"This one guy stood next to me for nearly 20 minutes, and chose to sit right next to me when I finally got a seat, in spite of several empty seats. I felt trapped, and disgusted at feeling him so close to me, and asked him to move away twice. He didn't budge and that's when I felt threatened and got off at the crowded bus stop. As I stood there, waiting for my mom, he came up to me and said "jaabe naki?" (chalogi kya). When I retaliated and asked him to go away, he told me I had wasted his time. Wasted his time? I was dressed in a salwar kameez, and at no point did I encourage him. In fact, it was quite the opposite. So why did I have to face such fear?"

Now, it is really not about us or the way we dress up, is it? Of course, not. The little babies who are raped by certain beasts are certainly not dressed provocatively.

As a matter of fact, the fear of this heinous crime has seeped so deep into our souls that it majorly impacts how we feel when we're out on our own. And the reaction can unsettle anyone.

One such incident happened with Gauri, a 23-year-old girl who resides in Delhi. As she was walked through a poorly-lit, silent street to get back home at around 10 p.m. (a fairly 'decent' time, by all standards); her mind was flooded with several negative thoughts as she felt scared of being attacked. Her fears almost came to reality when she saw a shadow approaching her. Terrified, she accelerated her pace. And then the guy finally called out to her.

''I was scared to death and screamed bachao, bachao at the top of my voice. The chaiwala came running and pushed him to protect me. The next thing I know: The guy handed over my I-card to me, called me crazy and walked away. It was then I realised that I had dropped my I-card and that he was only trying to help,'' recalls Gauri.

Blame it on Crime Patrol all you want, but hearing about brutal rape incidents aggravates our fears and how. Sometimes, it can have an even deeper psychological impact as it happened with Mini.

''I was followed by a guy every evening from the metro station to my PG. It affected me so badly that I had dreams of being chased by a group of men for almost a week. This devastated my sleep cycle, so much so, that now, I wake up at least 5 times in the night--earlier I could sleep through an entire band playing on my head,'' shared the 23-year-old.

''Maybe, I have a tendency to jump to the worst conclusions during such situations because of the horrific incidents we keep hearing about every now and then--but more so because of the deep-rooted fear of not being able to defend myself,'' she adds.

Even the most unsuspecting women can fall prey to this anxiety. This is exactly what happened with Sakshi, 18, who was waiting for her school bus early in the morning.

''Suddenly I noticed, a car stopped right across the road but being carefree as I was, I chose to ignore until the driver rolled down the window and started jerking off staring at my legs and my entire body. I didn't know what to do, I felt helpless. It disgusted me, to say the least,'' says Sakshi.

You know, fear is horrible, it is crippling. But don't let it overpower your confidence and rationality. Think it through, evaluate the risks and always be equipped to handle any adversities. In tricky situations, go with your gut feeling. Talk about your fears to your friends and if it still persists, visit a counselor. You can't compromise your happiness and sense of freedom forever after all.