You know each other way too well "More intimacy isn't always better," Dr Nawal says. "Too much can de-eroticise your relation." In fact, unmarried couples who live together for two years or longer have the least sex of any group, including married couples, he says.
The fix Plan his-and-hers sex nights. One night a month, she does what you want. On another, you do as she commands. Pick a different scenario each month, and surprise her. The goal is to push the boundaries of your relationship, so you think of each other as sexual beings again.
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You can't keep it up (confidence, that is) Real-life sex isn't like movie sex, but that's the standard men hold themselves to. If a man feels he can't fulfill this narrow definition, he may begin to feel anxious. This ruins the fun.
The fix Impose a one-month ban on intercourse. (Really.) Men sometimes see intercourse as the finish line, but no finish line means no race. And that means you have to focus on turning each other on- just for fun. "Think about it as a cool challenge," Dr Nawal says. "Explore different kinds of touch. Let the desire build naturally."
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You each want different things She wants more snuggling; you want more penetration. Unfortunately, this often plays out as a power struggle, which is decidedly un-hot for both of you.
The fix Trade roles once every six weeks. Agree to initiate an intimate date, if she plans an erotic one. On your date, focus on sensual touching and-this is key-ban intercourse and orgasm. (Think old-fashioned make-out session in the car.) For her erotic date, prohibit intercourse but not orgasm. "Mix it up and take risks," Dr Nawal suggests.
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You schedule it This is a huge problem for couples with kids: You have a rare night alone, and there will be sex, damn it! Problem is, nothing kills the desire for sex quite as effectively as the demand for it.
The fix Make a list of the top 10 little things that put you in the mood for sex, suggests Indore-based sexologist Dr Mahesh Nawal. "They don't all have to be overtly sexual-also pick stuff that makes you feel positive about your relationship." Ask your girlfriend or wife to do the same, share your lists, and promise to do five things on each other's list.
