The downside of being a woman who likes to take it slow in a relationship

It's difficult to keep up with the pace of modern-day relationships. Photo: Shutterstock/IndiaPicture

Trust me when I say this, but when people say that your childhood experiences pretty much shape the person you eventually become, they're not lying. I can vouch for it because the one thing that I took very seriously from those experiences has left a dent so deep on my personality that there's literally no damage repair I can possibly think of right now.

I am talking about the moralistic bedtime story that glorified a slow-and-steady turtle who defeated the fast-and-furious-but-overconfident rabbit in a race. I don't know why, but I took this story more seriously than getting a 10 out of 100 in my math test once. What's even more unfortunate is the fact that I happened to apply the turtle's principles in all my relationships--including the romantic ones.

Yes, I'm a Woman Who Likes to Take it Slow
In my life, it takes a decade for a guy to turn into an acquaintance from a stranger. Another two decades for him to achieve the cult status of being 'my friend'. Another one for him to break out of the friend zone and enter into the close-friend zone. And finally one last decade of pure struggle and several compatibility tests to make it to the 'let's give this relationship a shot' phase. I'm not even mentioning the amount of time it takes for a guy to hear those three beautiful words from my mouth here. Because even I'm not sure of that.

Honestly, I Don't PLAY Hard to Get--I AM Hard to Get
I don't mean to brag and I don't mean to portray myself as some trophy (even though I love myself ) and those time spans I mentioned above are quite exaggerated. However, the fact is that it genuinely takes me a lot of time to be able to trust someone enough to let them into my personal space.

Secondly, I don't say things I don't mean and thus 'I Love You' is hard to come out of my mouth because love for me isn't casual-it holds a deep, special meaning.

I Feel Like an Alien
I mean, I feel out of place sometimes. As though I was born in the wrong era. Don't get me wrong. I'd never want to give up the comfort of new-age technology for anything. But miserably failing to keep up with the pace of modern-day relationships is beyond my understanding and frustrating to say the least. People around me get meet a guy, get married and have kids while I still keep deciding on whether to take things forward with a certain someone or not. 

My Problems=Their Problems
Being constantly compared to a turtle isn't the only disadvantage of being a woman who likes to take it slow in love . You also become the subject of guys' confusion when you ask them to take it easy. Simply because if they push you a little, they lose your respect and ultimately lose you, if they don't, they have this constant fear of losing you to someone else. So ultimately, your problem also becomes your love interest's problem.

But Sometimes It Can Backfire and Turn Into My Problem Only
That's because not everyone has the patience to wait that long and stick around. This also results in me losing out on men I might actually like.

But, those who make it despite me being difficult at first know that it was worth the effort because slow lovers are also deep lovers too. Moreover, I too am confident about letting them close after seeing them stick around for so long.

So it's not really a loss is what I'd like to tell myself and many others of my kind.

Also read: Love is a neurochemical conspiracy and it's making my life miserable!