Is silence the best policy when it comes to married women in India?

Why does marriage take away the right to express from a woman?

Sarwat Fatima
अगस्त 23, 2017

In some families, the idea of a sanskari bahu is someone who is always on mute. Photo Courtesy: YouTube/ ShowbizNow

Women in India are always expected not to voice their opinions out loud. But, things get even worse once they tie the knot. A woman who doesn't know how to keep her trap shut is every mother-in-law's worst nightmare. After all, the society's idea of a sanskari bahu is someone who knows her place in the family and is docile dove. She only answers when she is asked a question and not in between of a discussion that's happening in the family.

For starters…

Her Opinion Does Not Matter Anymore

It doesn't matter how knowledgeable she is--once married--her judgment really doesn't matter. She is a woman and it is deemed inappropriate if she has something to contribute publically. In fact, it's just a matter of few minutes before someone rebukes for talking too much or shuts her down with tum chup raho or tumhe kuch nahi pata.

Talking Back To Elders Is a Strict No-No

So, if you are not in the habit of taking shit lying down be prepared to fight your case. In most households, family elders believe it's their divine right to talk down the new woman in the house. And if she dares to answer back, she is labeled a badtameez, who's not been taught any manners by her family on how to respect her elders. Of course, it doesn't matter if the rest of the family calls her every name in the book.

Family Discussion Are Not For Her

While the rest of the family members may sit in the living room discuss politics, finance, or sports--no one really expects her to contribute. Of course, not every family is like that. But, let's admit it: a woman pointing out that the discussion is futile or completely off-track is not taken very kindly. More often than not, she will be sent back to the kitchen to get a cup of tea or asked to prepare dinner instead.

She Is Expected Not To Complain

In fact, it's not just about sharing her views and opinions on different matters. The problem extends well beyond that. She is expected not to complain and mould herself almost instantly after getting married. She is not given time to adapt to the cultural values of her new family, but to comply to the set-in-stone rules that pre-exist.

If there is something she is not okay with, it's her problem. But talking about it openly is definitely not something the in-laws anticipate.