My breasts are a sign of my weakness. I don't want them anymore

If only my breasts were not the storehouse of my modesty. Photo: Shutterstock/ IndiaPicture

"Don't bend, they are looking at you." "Cover up, your bra strap is visible." "Your top is too tight, people are staring." These are some of the few comments that I have grown up listening to. They may have been spoken to me at different times in my life, but they all convey the same intention--the concern for my modesty. One thing that binds them all together is the fact that these statements have my breasts as the mainstay. So, go ahead and sue me for saying that breasts, for me, are no longer some normal biological body parts. As far as I am concerned--they represent weakness. Something that I have to hide all the time.

Unlike my eyes, or my hands, or my ears--my breasts are somehow the storehouse of my honour. And if someone stares at them, brushes their hands against them, or God forbid tries to grope them--it's I who should feel ashamed. After all, they are an emblem of my womanhood, something that can be threatened at any point of time.

So, no wonder I have begun to despise these lady parts because I am sick--no disgruntled--with men making me feel insecure. I seriously don't remember a time when I have walked freely, without fearing an occasional push or brush of hand while walking the streets or boarding the metro. I have to stay alert all the time. After all, my honour is my responsibility. I keep my hands close to my chest so that no one else tries to come too close to it. Do you know how unsettling it is--guarding your body all the time?

I have even contemplated taping them so that I can look flat-chested. Photo: Shutterstock/ IndiaPicture

In fact, I have tried many tricks to deviate the attention of men from my breasts. Now, I wear extremely baggy shirts and t-shirts so that they can camouflage my curves and not 'provoke' men to stare right at them! Also, instead of a purse, I carry a school bag with its straps acting as guarding gear and I hold onto them really tight.

Honestly. there are times when I wish I did not have breasts. At least then I would feel free to keep my body relaxed and my hands by my side. I have even contemplated taping them so that I can look flat-chested. Perverts are really not interested at staring non-existent breasts, you see.

So, while some women in the world take pride in their curves and are not afraid to wear what they want with confidence, all I wish for is an invisibility cloak for my breasts so that I can live in peace. Or at least walk around the city without fear, guilt, and shame plaguing my heart.

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