Why we desperately need 'feminist porn' in our lives

Mainstream porn largely focuses on exploitation of women and their bodies.

Sarwat Fatima Sarwat Fatima Nov 08, 2017
Feminist porn is slowly giving birth to a new trend. Photo Courtesy: Pixabay

 

Shiny stilettos, sexy lingerie, and red lipstick--the killer combination makes her look seductive as ever, as she moaned in ecstasy. She looks at the camera after every two minutes. The purpose is to make you believe that you are there with her. The man with her is almost non-existent to the human eye. After all, who looks at the male actors in porn videos? His face, his existence doesn't matter. The focus is on the woman. And that's exactly how the porn industry functions.

So, porn is pretty popular with the male lot. We believe it's only men who take pleasure in pornography. Thus, it's always women who play the object of desire. The content, the story, the backdrop doesn't matter. It's just the biology that interests most people.

Most of our favourite films and books have one thing in common--the virtue to identify with them. They impress you because they are closer to reality. However, as far as porn is concerned, it's not the same. You know it is fiction while watching it. Whatever you see on-screen is nowhere close to the reality. Of course, you do hope your sex life could be as amazing as the one you see--but, then again, it's pretty impossible.

Porn is no way a reflection of your actual sex life. It shows you what you are missing and how things should really be. And all the fun and pleasure you are deprived of in real life, finds an outlet in porn. It promises you sexual gratification that you are otherwise denied. So, you end up watching it--even if you are a fan of pornography.

So, porn is pretty popular with the male lot. Photo Courtesy: Pixabay So, porn is pretty popular with the male lot. Photo Courtesy: Pixabay
Porn reinforces the belief that sexuality is all about perky breasts and waxed lady parts. You are told how a woman's body should actually look like. You are fed notions about masculinity and machismo. And last but not the least, it fuels the stereotype the 'bigger the better.' It makes you believe that size matters and it's the only important parameter when it comes to pleasing women. A real man, according to it, is someone who can hold onto his erection for hours. But, you know what: it's utter bullshit because nothing of it is true. Especially the fad that forces men to enlarge their penises with the help of artificial tools.

Most importantly, not every porn that you come across on the Internet has been shot with the consent of the woman in it. If you browse through such websites, you will come across many clips that are shot with hidden cameras. They can range from sex videos to trail room footage to hotel rooms clips to ladies' toilets grabs.

Apart from this, mainstream porn also normalizes rape. It perpetuates the stereotype that women enjoy sexual assault. And if a man forces himself upon a woman, she eventually does begin to enjoy. But, is it really true? Do women really enjoy rape? The brutality with which some of the porn videos are shot equate to crime in real life.

Mainstream porn also normalizes rape. Photo Courtesy: Shutterstock/ IndiaPicture Mainstream porn also normalizes rape. Photo Courtesy: Shutterstock/ IndiaPicture

Now, when you watch an action movie, you are advised not to try the stunts at home. Or when you see someone smoking on-screen, you are bombarded with statutory warnings. But, as far as porn is concerned--you see no such word of advice. Young men, teens, and blooming adults who end up taking sex education from porn, believe in whatever shit is shown on-screen. They believe that's how sex is.

But, Can't We Change The Way Porn Functions?

Cinema around the world is changing with every passing day--so why can't porn? In fact, it is. It is changing. Some people like to call it 'ethical porn.' Meaning, pornography which doesn't humiliate a person or discredits their right over their bodies. Some even call it 'feminist porn' because it doesn't glorify sexual abuse. It caters to people who are straight, gay, lesbian, and thrives on the equality of sexual relationships. There's no abuse or torture in it. It is shot with the consent of both parties. You usually get to see this form of porn in still pictures.

Interestingly, there exists a porn magazine that works on the same principle. It has been started by a woman called MacKenzie Peck. In an interview with the Independent, she tells how she is trying to change mainstream porn.

"What's wrong with the porn industry is that it isn't satisfying the needs of most people. The array of body types and vast ocean of sexual desires are hardly depicted and people are eager to find something new. Something with heart, that exalts sexuality for all it's magic, and embraces all the ways we can do it," she says.

"Mainstream porn lives on the internet. As a print-only publication we circumvent that clusterfuck of pop-ups, paywalls, garish ads, click bait, grotesque and oppressive content, and plagiarised material. Our publication is an oasis from distraction, censorship, and comment threads. Math Magazine is a curated respite from the strange and often disappointing world of mainstream porn," she continues.

This kind of porn is somewhat closer to our real lives. The models in it don't specifically belong to one body type. Moreover, it doesn't try to teach you what's sexual and what's not. It doesn't present to you a world of fiction that has no connection with reality whatsoever.

Mainstream porn is synonyms with exploitation. Majorly because we have become so addicted to it and have normalized it in our minds. We fail to take notice of the things that are wrong with it. Abuse during sex is not okay--even if porn shows otherwise. Also, it's not okay for a man to be in the dominating position in bed. This goes onto show that sex is majorly an activity to be enjoyed by men, whereas the only purpose of women is to provide pleasure. This very thought has given birth to slurs and cuss words that target mothers and sisters.

Porn gives you pleasure. And we can bet, there's hardly a living soul in this world who uses the Internet but hasn't watched porn. So, if feminist porn is slowly and steadily changing things for everybody--it sure makes a welcome change.

(The story was originally written by Prateeksha Pandey for The Lallantop in Hindi)

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