How dating a man child helped me grow into a woman adult
Dating an immature man teaches you more about life than anything else in the world.
A wise man once said, "a child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires."
A not-so-wise woman (me) now says, a man child can teach a normal, sane, happy-go-lucky woman three things: to mind your own business, to always be the responsible one, and most importantly--to never ever try to mother the overgrown child.
Yes, each relationship teaches you something about life, but being with a 24-year old 'man' with the sensibilities of a 3-year-old kid turns it around and how!
Wait! I Guess I Just Overestimated Him By Comparing Him To 3-Year Olds
For 3-year-olds can still walk without their parents' support unlike this well-educated, handsome young man I was once with, who couldn't survive a day without his mommy dear feeding him with specially cooked paranthas and his house help tying his laces in the morning.
Love is blind, so I did manage to oversee this excessive mother-son affection, but what irked me mostly was how he'd yell at his mother if those paranthas weren't as round as the big-fat zero he probably was himself. Worse still--his mother took it silently instead of just giving him a tight slap.
Fine! There Was Something Good About Him--His Math
Trust me, when I was in my mother's womb, I was wiser than he is now. I obviously don't remember what I did inside. But at least, I never kicked my mother for every time she ate disgusting spinach and ghiya instead of chocolates. I mean, I never kept scores in life. Perhaps, mathematics was never my strong suit.
But as you know, opposites attract, God knows why. So I was attracted to this Aryabhata in life, who probably didn't go beyond scoring a 40 over 100 in his Mathematics board exam, but when it came to settling scores, he was the boss.
One day if I accidentally would forget messaging him and telling him where I was going, it would result in him doing the exact same thing--intentionally to teach me a lesson. "Now you know how I felt", he would exclaim.
He could have made for a better teacher than a businessman, you know.
In fact, he could be a brilliant geometry teacher, for he knew how to "mark his territory" flawlessly so that other men couldn't even breathe near me. His genius ways of doing that involved refusing to leave my hand in public, calling me ten times if I was out with friends, and being after my life to change my relationship status on social media for the world to see.
Perhaps, 'turned into a mother' would have been a more suitable Facebook status than 'being in a relationship' at the time.
Or He Could Be An Athlete?
Because he was better than Usain Bolt when it came to running--running away from responsibilities, I mean. Leave alone taking care of his things at home, he could barely take care of me after downing two drinks. I was supposed to be the responsible one all the time and to be honest, that was quite frustrating. But it taught me to be independent and take care of myself.
My Faith in Motherhood is Shattered
What else do you expect when you have to convince a fully grown man to not throw a fit at a restaurant if the dish 'couldn't meet his standards'. I mean, even a kid settles for milk and biscuits and shuts the f**k up after a point unlike this man who would rant about it for days.
In fact his outburst triggers varied from the very reasonable "I had to wake up at 10 a.m. today" to the even more valid "my dad gave me two rupees less in my pocket money this month", and the most convincing one in the history of mankind--"I couldn't drink this weekend which is why I am acting up."
He wasn't a drunkard or a drug addict and I wasn't a mother--I just couldn't be. No amount of explaining helped but fortunately the 'you need to grow up' talks did have a positive effect--not on him, but on me.
I grew up only to understand that life is beyond keeping scores and forcefully trying to make things work with a person who hasn't grown up yet. Moreover, watching him sulk over silliest things despite having everything in life made me realize the value of contentment and happiness.