Are you a victim of love bombing? 5 signs to help you find out
There is a very thin line between love and love bombing. And you need to see it.
So, imagine this: you meet a cute guy at a friend's party. You like him and he likes you back. You exchange numbers and add each other on Facebook. You meet a couple of times in a month and have a great time together. However, just fives dates later he professes his undying love for you, proposes you for marriage, and even starts thinking of names for your imaginary kids. Well! Hold on--isn't this going a little too fast?
Now, you may say when it's right it's right, but is it really? Is the guy really in love with you or just love bombing you? Confused? Well, love bombing is a very unhealthy dating trend and it's a trap. Wanna know if you are a victim of love bombing too? Here are a few signs:
If Things Are Moving Way Too Quickly
Every person on the face of the Earth needs some time to get emotionally attached to another human being. However, if things are moving way too quickly in your new relationship, then you better watch out. Yes, it's absolutely normal to really like a person after a few meetings, but then again, 'like' is the catchword here. Love comes eventually.
So, if he proposes to you on the third date and forces you to rush things too--you need to take a step back. That kind of pressure is not normal. Let things progress at their own pace.
If He Is Showering You With Gifts, Love, And Promises
Then again, there is a very fine line between love and love bombing. While it's absolutely normal to exchange gifts in a relationship, things get a little creepy if everything he does is OTT.
"Love bombing is where you are showered with affection, gifts, and promises for the future, making you believe you may have discovered love at first sight. Someone is loving, caring, affectionate, and seems to just get you. Things progress really quickly, and you start to wonder whether this is what you've been missing all along," says Dale Archer, a psychiatrist and author, in an interview to the Independent.
If He Is Demanding Constant Attention
Love bombing really is an important manipulation tool for a sociopath. And it's really not something you should remain immune to. So, if calls you all the time, bombards you with messages, pesters you to meet him every day, or shows up at random places in a bid to meet you then you are definitely dating a 'love bomber'.
According to a WordPress blog Dating a Sociopath, "Love bombing is so called because of the constant bombardment of communication from the sociopath. This can take many forms. Excessive texting, constant comments on your social network page, emails, telephone calls, or just literally bombarding you verbally in face to face communication."
If You Show Interest In Anything Else--He Gets Furious
One of the most conspicuous signs of love bombing is when your partner can't deal with your divided attention. He has a problem with you meeting your friends, spending time with your family, and giving priority to your professional life. He basically wants you to shower him with all your time and attention, without any disturbances. And when you don't, he begins accusing you of being selfish.
Moreover, he gets abusive and you see a totally different side of him. Ladies, if this is what has been happening to you then you better run.
If There Is a Sudden Change In His Behaviour
"It's a bit like training an animal. Love bombing is the reinforcement, where the abuser showers you with love if you act how they want you to. If you don't, then the devaluation stage happens, where they withdraw all their kindness and instead punish you with whatever they feel is appropriate--shouting at you, giving you the silent treatment, or even physically abusing you," states a report published in The Sun.
Also, if you prince charming suddenly turns into a beast--you better bid him a hasty goodbye.