"Your husband will feel he's married a man," and other things I've been told for having small breasts

My breasts are my business. So, stop with all the unnecessary concern. Photo Courtesy: Pinterest

If there's one thing I most absolutely can't live without--it's got to be my set of padded bras. In fact, it would be an exaggeration if I say that my existence depends on them. Why the overreaction, you ask? Well, it's mainly because I am a woman with small breasts and that somehow makes me the butt of some very offensive jokes.

Being a woman is not easy--trueche! You are ridiculed for having a big butt, you are shamed for being too skinny, you are lusted after if you are well endowed, and you are scoffed at if you are not. So, it would be fair to say that I have had my share of jibes for not having the perfect body as per the norms set by the society. And here are a few unkind things that I get to hear:

Your Husband Will Feel He's Married A Man
Thanks to my non-existent set of breasts, neighbourhood aunties feel they have some divine right to bestow me with matrimonial advice. According to them, my flat chest might lead to marital discord. Why? Because men like women who have 'meat' in all the right places. Also, they have predicted that my husband will not a have a good time because my lack of voluptuousness will make him feel that he has married a man.

Just Stuff Your Bra With Socks
Yup, I multi-use my socks as they don't just go on my feet. I have other uses for them because a well-meaning advice has entrapped me since forever.

A few years, ago a cousin of mine looked at my breasts with disappointment and said that I should fill my bra with stuff to look bigger. In fact, she went onto demonstrate juts that with the help of a pair of socks. So, that's kind of stuck.

Also read: Diary of a 20-something with sagging breasts: How oiling came to my rescue

Your Breast Look Like Pimples
There's goes another insult. Really, you like to compare my breasts to pimples?

While growing up, I had a group of gal pals, who took pride in comparing breasts sizes. Not to mention, I always was a loser in their eyes. So, they took immense pleasure in comparing my breasts to most ridiculous things like pimples and mosquito bites--because they were that non-existent.

Just Go Under The Knife Already
Now that I am well into my twenties and my breasts have still failed to blossom, my near and dear ones are pretty tensed over it. So, some of them have suggested that I go under the knife. Yup, get breast implants. For them I have just one message: shut the f**k up.

You Are Not A Woman
Okay, I get biology plays a big role in defining gender, but as much as I have studied science, I know one thing: the size of your breast definitely doesn't define your gender. So, how does me having small breast automatically translate into me not being a woman. Go read your textbooks, first.

Also read: Are your breasts sore? This is what it could mean