A case of misunderstood feminism: How an accidental graze in a supermarket made my husband a molester

Fighting for something wrong under the guise of feminism doesn't make it right. Photo Courtesy: Pinterest/ TedCD

What is feminism exactly? The last time I checked, it meant the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. 'Equality' being the keyword here and NOT supremacy. However, this much-needed movement is now overshadowed by pseudo-feminism--where women are always victims and men the harassers, even if they never meant to be. This not only spells doom for the concept of gender equality, but for all of us. Wondering why am I getting all preachy? Well, a recent incident was like a wake-up call for me as I had given little thought to the dangers of radical feminism before.

Here's What Happened…

So, yesterday I was at a supermarket, grocery shopping with my husband. While standing at the check-out counter I was pushed forward by a man standing behind me. To make space, I moved my overloaded trolley a little further. My husband, who was standing right in front of me took a step ahead and the strap of his watch brushed against the hand of the woman standing next to him.

Don't think much of what happened, right? Well, this very harmless change in position led to a full-blown fight. Yup, all hell broke loose when the lady started yelling at my husband for misbehaving with her.

And She Dragged 'Feminism' Into The Argument

The argument became extremely awkward when she started accusing him of things he did not do. "You're misbehaving with me" "How dare you?" "You're anything but a gentleman" were a few things this middle-aged lady said, to which my husband's response was always: "I am sorry, I didn't mean to". I kept my calm for a few minutes, giving him time to explain. However, when she did not back down despite his apology, I couldn't contain myself. I explained to her that the 'graze' against her hand was not intentional and didn't happen on purpose.

However, her response left me flabbergasted. If it wasn't bad enough that she was accusing my husband of misbehaving with her, she taunted me for siding with a 'man'. In her words, I was lending my support to someone who was not a 'gentleman' and didn't know how to behave with women. And that I should be siding with her, because I am a woman too and feminism you know?

Well, keeping my personal feelings aside, I tried reasoning with her that I understand how uncomfortable it is for women to step out in crowded areas especially when some men are always on the prowl for a reason to touch them, but 'feminism' and 'women empowerment' had nothing to do with what just happened.

As a woman and a feminist myself, I feel we must really take upon ourselves to educate others what feminism really means. Photo Courtesy: Pinterest

Why Pseudo-Feminism Is Dangerous

Though the argument ultimately ended with my husband profusely apologizing to her and she making a quick exit, but much to own chagrin I realized how dangerous that situation could have become for my husband had I not been there to stand up for him.

Yes, it's a bad, bad world out there and there are perverts roaming the streets looking for opportunities to exploit women. But, there's something very important that we can't afford to ignore: not every man is a molester. However, thanks to the current scenario we are living in, it's really difficult for men to prove their innocence when it comes to matters like these.

I realized that while we were arguing with the lady, a crowd had gathered around us. Now, let's be honest here--if the matter had escalated and people in our close vicinity had not witnessed what had exactly happened, it wouldn't have taken the crowd two seconds to turn on my husband.

We've Got To be Very Careful

Haven't we heard of enough incidents of mob justice, lynching, and public violence when emotions run high? In the heat of the moment, the uncontrolled crowd hardly pays attention to any facts. And it's dangerous when a woman uses the 'victim card' for her own benefit.

As a woman and a feminist myself, I feel we must really take upon ourselves to educate others what feminism really means. I, for starters, would really hate to see people fearing the concept and not respecting it. Also, those who try to exploit serious women issues to win an argument should really refrain from doing so.

You are just making the team look bad and it's really not doing our gender any favours.

Also read: What does it mean to be a feminist in a relationship?

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