10 things you should never utter in front of a diehard Salman Khan fan

You don't mess with Salman or his fans. Photo Courtesy: Facebook/ Salman Khan

We all know that Salman Khan is a mega movie star and well, the most bankable one too. His movies rake in the moolah and his looks are hotter than the fire in your choolah (excuse the rhyming, Anu Malik's recent appearance on The Kapil Sharma Show seems to have taken a toll on us).

But let's come back to the birthday boy. Salman Khan, who turns 51 today, has a lot in common with his fans. Of course, we're referring to the bhaigiri. So if someone dares to utter these things about bhaijaan (hate to call him that) in front of us, remember--hum tum mein itne ched karenge, ki confuse ho jaoge ke saans kahan se le aur… You get the point, right?

1. Is He Actually a Virgin? Will He Ever Get Married?

The question about his marriage is usually asked by married men, who are obviously jealous of Dabangg Khan's singlehood. Just one question for those interested in his sex life: Do you actually have a business to mind in life? Is your sex life so dull that you want to know about someone else's?

2. He's Got Painted Abs

Here, take the optician's number and get your eye sight checked, for heaven's sake.

3. Even Rajpal Yadav Dances Better Than Salman

Even Alia Bhatt is smarter than you.

4. And Even Katrina Kaif Acts Better Than Salman

Oh shut up! Have you watched Tere Naam? Those who did not even have a lover, started acting like aashiqs in life post that moive. Better still--Hello Brother. Sallu played a ghost so convincingly that even those who had differences with their brother went and said hello to them. Whatever!

5. Being Human? Does That Shit Even Sell?

Yes, at a much higher price than your shit.

6. He's Such a Zabardasti ka Singer

And you're such a zabardasti ka critic. Or maybe, his surs aure giving you a hangover and making you talk rubbish.

7. He Needs to Get His Grammar Right Before Throwing in That Accent

Oh, what are you? Wren and Martin?

8. SRK and Aamir are the Real Khans

Considering you know so much about Salman, we're pretty sure, he must have personally called you and revealed his actual surname.

9. IPC Section 304…

Do yourself an ehsaan by steering clear of such sensitive topics. Got it?

10. No Wonder, Katrina and Aishwarya Dumped Him

No wonder, you are going to get slapped now. On second thoughts, you could totally save your ass here by saying, "thappad se darr nahi lagta, pyaar se lagta hai".