If you think you've heard the worst, here are breakup excuses that'll make you faceplam

If only people worked as hard at breaking up as they did at asking out. Photo Courtesy: YouTube/KabirBhakka

Breakups are horrible. Actually they are one of the worst things to happen to people world over. Sure, in retrospect it's better to have let go of that cheating a**holes and selfish pricks than to continue with them and make your life miserable. But still, when your heart breaks--so do a lot of other things. Like trust in men; self confidence; and of course your bank balance--because nothing offers respite to a broken heart like binge eating and incessant shopping now does it? While remnants of the good memories go away eventually, what stays with you almost always is the reason why you were broken up with. And if that reason is not satisfactory or convincing enough, then well, it can leave you dazed and confused. 

While you might be inclined to say that all is fair in love and subsequent breakups --after all affection and intimacy can't be fostered--not all reasons are the same. Here are seven of the most nonsensical excuses that people have been given while being dumped.

'I Cannot Love You Back, But I Respect Your Love.' Please Unsay That.

Where...what? Being in a relationship is dicey as is, then we have people like these, who make the journey even more tumultuous. You, dear friend, need help formulating better excuses. Please do not wander into the spectrum called relationships before you get your head straight. Broken hearts are not funny.

'You Don't Like my Favourite Movie.' Uhh, Really?

Oh my God are you for real? You're actually saying you let go of a perfectly happy relationship because you could not like the same movie? People put everything on line for a stable relationship, and you're throwing away a potentially beautiful chapter of your life for what? A goddamn movie?!

'He's Too Nice to Control Me Like a Man.' Excuse Me?

 You are all kinds of fucked up. You dear friend, need help in ways more than one. See a shrink, as soon as possible. You sound like you'll be stuck in an abusive relationship, and realize too late what it actually is. Just...just get some help.

'You Left Your Ex For No Reason, So Why Can't I Do the Same?' Karma Reincarnated...Not!

Hah! Whoever thought karma did not materialize into a human form--you're wrong. Fine, young people are actually taking it upon themselves to leave their significant others the way they left an ex. What difference have you left between yourself and your cold blooded animal of an ex?

'It Was Good When I Was Chasing You, Now The Spark's Gone.'

The person who does this needs to stay away from people in general. You're taking people for play things! You're way too immature to be left without mature supervision. This kind of nonchalance is a characteristic of kids who've outgrown their old toys. Just for the record, people ain't toys.

'Our Zodiac Signs Don't Match.' We've Seen Everything

It's a fun exercise, taking quizzes to see how compatible you are with the person you're dating. But making the incompatibility in your stars a reason to dump them, that's as lame as your weak character for doing it. Really! Grow up!

'We Don't Fight Enough.' Huh?

Well, the world is a strange world. People spend fortunes on marriage counsellors to not fight. Aren't relationships the pillars of mutual understanding and compromise? From what we've heard, the lesser amount of fights you have, the more compatible you are. Let's just hope people with this excuse never deliberate world peace. Phew!

Let's hope the ones at the receiving end of these were able to get over it better than we would. And if you're single, you have all the reasons to just stick to that till you find somebody sane enough to not do any of the above listed things. That's the benchmark we need right now, we guess.

Also Read: Being cheated on doesn't just lead to a break-up--it can damage your body too

Also Read: 6 conversations we've all had with our exes on social media