So, your partner is taking you for granted. Here, 6 ways to deal with it

Is your partner distant and indifferent? We've got just the scoop to help you through your partner's change of priorities.

Sonaakshi Kohli Sonaakshi Kohli
अक्टूबर 06, 2016
Don't ignore those signs, act upon them. Photo: Shutterstock/Indiapictures

Remember your courtship period? When your romance was fresh, and time seemed to just fly by--even when he took extra pains to spend just those extra 10 minutes with you.

Now, you've been together for quite a while, maybe years, and suddenly there is trouble in paradise. All of a sudden you feel the bloom is off the rose-he has changed--and his lack of affection and attention is getting under your skin. You can't help but wonder, what happened to the times he would choose you over everything else in the world?  What happened to the beautiful times when he just couldn't get enough of you?  What happened to the man who was smitten by you?
There is hurt, utter frustration, disappointment, and resentment simmering just below the surface and you don't know what to do.

If this sounds like the current status of your relationship, here's help. Dr Rachna K. Singh, mental health expert and founder, director of The Mind and Wellness Studio, Delhi tells you just how to deal with your partner's sudden change of priorities.


1. Self Reflection
So he obviously doesn't have to be the Ranveer to your Deepika 24/7, but don't think you are being silly if he is not exactly treating you like his favourite person. But before you broach the topic with your partner, introspect a little. "The first step to finding the solution involves identifying the possible reasons causing this change in your partner," explains Singh.

Maybe it's your partner's workload that is in the way? Maybe he is just going through a bad phase? Maybe it's the monotony that's getting to him, and you need to bring back the spark?  Or perhaps he is absorbed in mundane things, now that he is comfortable with you? Trust us, this will help you empower yourself to handle the situation correctly.
 
2. Communication is Key
Communication, ladies, is the saving grace of any relationship. Now that you have identified the cause, it is time to get crackin' and find a solution. For starters, don't leave him guessing. Just make it simple: express your feelings and convey your problems. Basically pour your heart out to your partner, and try to work through it.

3. Be Consistent in What You Demand

Don't beat around the bush, convey what you want clearly. Photo: Shutterstock/Indiapictures Don't beat around the bush, convey what you want clearly. Photo: Shutterstock/Indiapictures

You don't have to mince your words, but you don't have to blabber on and on either. The best way to get through to him? Give prompt, tangible suggestions. "It is important to be specific in your demand without actually making it sound like one. Instead of saying 'you don't love me anymore' and 'you hurt me, and I'm so disappointed'--subtly point out the changes to him. Tell him, how good it felt to have coffee together every morning like old times, and that you wish you could do it again; or how you wish he would take you out as often as he used to", suggests Singh.

4. Avoid the Blame Game
When airing out concerns, replace "you" and "your" with "we" and "our". After all, it takes two to tango, right?

"It is important to make a pact to put in an effort together to make things work instead of blaming each other," suggests Singh. "Ask your partner where he thinks you have gone wrong, and show your willingness to make amends,"  she adds. Assigning blame will only spell doom  for your already fragile relationship. Remember, a considerate partner will make a genuine attempt to hear you and make changes. But do remind yourself to take responsibility for how your actions may affect your man.

5. Don't Ignore Self Growth
Remember your "I am going to get in shape" new-year resolution? Or perhaps all your pending shopping trips and catching-up with your long-lost family and friends? It is time to do just that. Find fulfillment and satisfaction outside of your relationship. Singh explains, "Diverting your focus off your relationship, and concentrating on yourself and your loved ones can prevent you from making it the centre of your life and create a better emotional structure." We couldn't agree more! Get back in shape ladies! Show your man what he is missing!

6. Confide in Friends and Family
If nothing seems to be helping your cause, how about seeking some help from your close friends? Obviously you don't have to make a public controversy out of your relationship but talking about your problems to your close confidantes will make you feel lighter. "If nothing helps, remember it isn't the end of the world. Visit a counselor and fight for the love of your life," suggest Singh.

Now that you know, we hope you'll put these practical tips to use and set everything straight in paradise again.

 

 

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