Are you saving yourself for 'the one'? Here's why that's a bad idea

Having sex for the first time is not about the right person, it's about the right time. Photo Courtesy: YouTube

In a piece titled "My Virginity Mistake," author Jessica Ciencin Henriquez talked about how deciding to stay a virgin until she got married actually ruined her life. "Without having sex before marriage, I blindly walked up an aisle and committed myself to a man who didn't know me and gave my long-held virginity to someone with whom I had no more chemistry than a second cousin."

And we couldn't really agree more. In fact, even according to a recent Reddit survey, couples who save sex for marriage share awkward first experiences.

Also read: 7 things we bet you didn't know about your hymen.

But there's a little twist to the tale. Our propagation for having sex when you feel like doesn't just stem from the fact that suddenly getting intimate with a borderline-stranger can be awkward as hell.

It's Also Got To Do With The Pain
For a moment, keep aside the psychological pain of having to get comfortable with a man you don't know very well. But think about how the lack of chemistry can turn this psychological pain into a physical one. Let's put this out and about: If there's lack of chemistry, there's also a lack of arousal and well, lubrication. And being dry down there can make sexual intercourse very difficult. That ladies, can make your first time awkward, and well--super painful.

Also read: Don't enjoy sex? It's painful for nearly one in 10 women, says study.

You Don't Have To Be Harsh On Yourself
If you think that having sex before marriage can ruin your chances at making a success out of your marriage, then here's a slight reality check: According to a study presented at the Midwestern Psychological Association conference, there is no difference in satisfaction between people who get married as virgins and those who have premarital sex. So why deny yourself the pleasure by waiting to get married?

Moreover, you know the calorie-burning , skin-brightening, and stress-busting effects of sex, right? Why the wait then?

Also read: Sex may not be taboo anymore, but I still CHOOSE to be a virgin. Here's why.

Don't Put Yourself Through Unnecessary Anxiety
Thanks to Mill & Boon and the likes of it, we already have high expectations from sex. We make it to be a grand, special experience in our heads and hype it so much that instead of it being a pleasurable, fulfilling experience, it turns into some kind of a pressure and makes us anxious.

Also read: Sex-ed 101: 4 keys to sail through your first time smoothly.

In fact, come to think of it and you'd realize that being a virgin bride can mean having performance anxiety during your wedding ceremonies for the much-awaited suhag raat. You don't want to spend your wedding doing that, right?
 
All said and done, don't forget that there's absolutely no pressure on your to have sex. But just remember, it's not about the right person, it's about the right time.