Dear men, the way to my heart is not through paying my bills

I am independent and I can take care of my expenses on my own, thank you very much. Photo Courtesy: YouTube

There may be a zillion extensively-researched guides to winning a woman's heart, but this one surely is the most practical and realistic one. No, I am no love guru, and this is no love guide. It is just a much-needed reality check for all the sexist men out there, who think that letting the woman pay her share of money will make them any less of a man.

Hell yes! Not all women want to enjoy the so-called privilege of being funded for their expenses by a man. At least, it's definitely not my cup of tea.

Here's why a man offering to pay my bills is a sure-shot way of repelling me more strongly than how All-Out repels mosquitoes. Actually, this one is even stronger and worse since narrow-minded, egoistic men are involved here.

TBH, It's a Very Drona Way of Showing Your Etiquette Off

If you think, I am comparing a man's 'generous' act of offering to pay for me to Abhishek Bachchan's superhero act in the box-office disaster Drona, you are highly mistaken. But I won't deny drawing parallels between the two because that's how big a flop this gesture of a man is in my eyes. There's actually no heroism in paying on a woman's behalf, honestly.

On Second Thoughts, I Stand Corrected--They Are Superheroes
Offering to pay once is still bearable because I get that it's ages of deeply embedded patriarchy talking and that, this mindset can't exactly change in a day. However, when guys just don't back off and keep insisting to pay on my behalf even after my polite, followed by an impolite refusal--they turn into real superheroes in my eyes.

This simply stems from the fact that I happen to be a soft-hearted individual, not because I give in to their insistence, but because I believe in recognizing everyone's efforts. So well, if men act all magnanimous in life, then let me not be all that harsh and give them some credit, at least. Here it is: Yes, they are superheroes--they are like Ant Man.

Because you know what? Their stubbornly patriarchal and sexist mindset is as small as Ant Man when he gets inside that suit.

Also read: Here's the downside of being an emotionally intelligent girl.

Again, thanks to my soft-heartedness and well, the lack of creativity in Hollywood, I didn't call them Microbacteria Men. But that doesn't take away from the fact that their narrow-mindedness and superiority complex is actually quite hollow and petty.

Here's Some Free Advice On How To Leave A Good Impression on a Woman
Whoever said first impression is the last impression was clearly misguided in life. So ignoring his/her materialistic ass and moving ahead, I'd just like to say that it is actually the respect that you earn in the other person's eyes that actually really lasts. And you know how you earn it? By backing the hell off when the woman refuses to let you pay.

Alternatively, a man can show that he loves his parents and send his daddy for the outing instead, in case my lunch is on the verge of being funded by his father's hard-earned money.

That way they can at least earn some respect for being respectful towards their parents, if not for being open-minded in life. Tsk Tsk.

Also read: Take that patriarchy! Study says women are better leaders than men.

Pro Tip #2: Show Off Your Mathematics
Yes, intelligence is yet another way to a woman's heart. So men can take the liberty of showing their mental math skills by splitting the bill into half. This way, they not just get to show their cute, nerdy sides, but it also reflects that they are aware about the virtue of justice and practice it as well. It's simple, the man pays for what he eats, and I pay for what I do. 

Also read: It's tough being in a relationship when you are an independent woman.

Reality Check: Men Aren't The Only Creatures With Egos
I wonder what makes men think that I can't afford just one meal out? Or I can't afford to buy that dress on my own? Or that I will be pleased to have someone else pay for me in spite of working my ass off to enjoy a comfortable life?

Well, if for some odd reason I am short of money, I just won't agree to that outing and won't step into the mall. Because life won't come to a standstill if I go out to a modest restaurant one weekend and if my wardrobe falls one dress short. Apocalypse was predicted in 2012, and that's gone. So I'd much rather wait for the time when I can spend as much as I'd like to instead of relying on a man to bear my expenses. Salary day, perhaps is the best time to take a woman out, I say.