Apparently slipping off condoms in the middle of sex is a new trend for men, and it's conveniently called 'stealthing'

Dear men, slow and 'stealthy' doesn't win the race, so just STOP!

Sonaakshi Kohli Sonaakshi Kohli
अप्रैल 24, 2017
Removing a condom while having sex without your partner's knowledge is a breach of their trust and well, consent. Photo: Shutterstock/IndiaPicture

There's no denying the fact that a little experimentation in bed can add buttloads of zing to your sex life. After all, women do like to be surprised in bed sometimes, right? But what happens if the man takes it upon himself to actually turn the desired surprise element into an outrageously shocking one?

We mean, just picture this: In the midst of a steamy intercourse, your partner simply takes his condom off--without your permission or knowledge--just for the sake of some cheap thrill that he might get out of the whole situation. Don't be so startled, ladies. Much to our horror, and well, disgust, this is actually a popular between-the-sheets trend catching on with men these days.

According to a study conducted by Alexandra Brodsky--a legal fellow at the American National Women's Law Center--for the Columbia Journal of Gender and Law, this practice is conveniently termed as 'stealthing' and many women have fallen prey to it.

Also read: My boyfriend harassed me into being in a relationship with him.
 
In an interview to Huffington Post, Brodsky even shared disturbing details of her interactions with the victims as well as her research on the online communities of men who engage in this act. Apparently, these men (both gay and straight) believe that they have a right to "spread their seed," and they "root their support (for stealthing) in an ideology of male supremacy in which violence is a man's natural right."

As for the victims, they do feel traumatized and violated after having been 'stealthed',  but are not sure of how to report this behaviour, because they fall short of words and also because of lack of proper knowledge and vocabulary to take this grievance forward.

Also read: Dear Bombay HC, even if the girl was 'used to dirty things' her consent still matters.

In case you too have experienced something of this nature or know someone who has, here's what you need to know: Removing a condom without knowledge of a partner amounts to violation of conditional consent.  That's because a woman agreeing to sex with a condom doesn't really mean that she's going to be okay with having sex even without a condom.

In fact, in many countries, this can even qualify as rape; and not so long ago, a French man was charged for rape after slipping off his condom during intercourse without his partner's knowledge.

Also read: Switzerland convicts man of rape for removing condom without lover's permission.

While in India, there are no laws to address the violation of consent; but being on the vigil and being stern with your partner in case he tries to 'stealth' you, can make sure he doesn't act sly again--and you're safe from both STDs and pregnancy.

Also read: Is your partner STD free? Here's how you can have THAT talk.

Remember this: it's nothing to be embarrassed about. The responsibility for contraception is not just yours--it's also your partner's. So if he tries to slip that condom off without your permission or knowledge, make sure it's he who pays for it--not you.             

 

 

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