Confession time: Rejecting men gives me sadistic pleasure

I am a hunter, who is really not interested in seeing their guns. Photo Courtesy: Twitter/indianbaes

Girl meets boy, boy meets girl, cupid strikes, sparks fly, and--disappointment awaits. No matter how much you deny it, no matter how harshly you judge me for being a male-basher and what not, there's no denying the fact that putting up with men is actually worse than understanding rocket science.

Also read: Being single is annoying, but hell, dealing with men is even worse  

We women have carried this reputation of being complicated for so long that no one actually pays attention to how difficult being with men can be. Some women deal with men like a pro, some put up with them grudgingly, and some escapists like me run for the hills when they are faced with what I call as 'threats to a woman's happiness and peace of mind'.

By now, you already know I am an extreme case, because well I do really care about myself, which is why I turn almost every man, who tries to court me down.

Grab hold of a chair, because what I am going to tell you next might make your blood pressure rise to a whole new level. But as I said, there's nobody in the world I care for more than myself, so I am going to go ahead with my confession, anyway. Here it is: I not just turn men down, I derive pleasure out of the whole situation.

Also read: How to say goodbye to a toxic partner.

It's Not Even An Ego Game--I Generously Give Them What They Want
From my queer experiences with the men I've dealt with and a couple of conversations with a few psychologists, I have gathered this very interesting, and well disheartening thing about men. Apparently, they have hunting instinct, which I guess is the reason they are head over heels till they actually get the girl. They like the chase and being the selfless woman that I am, that's exactly what I give them.

No, I Don't Toy With Them

Because toys are harmless, boys are not. I am not someone who would lead them on or give them the wrong hints, ever. But my distant and indifferent attitude makes me the perfect hard-to-get prey in their eyes. And they just won't give up on their prefect prey.

Moreover, if a man sees you for the first time and comes up to you saying the most conventionally, predictably stupid things like, "Oh my God, I think I've seen you somewhere, can I get your number?", when do you even have the time to lead him on? Most of them pounce on their prey in the very first meeting. So you can't exactly blame me here.

I Am Like a Self-Appointed Representative Of All Sufferers of My Species
Blame it on my undying love for my friends and fellow-females, I am a self-appointed, and well, self-proclaimed representative of all women who've ever been hurt by a man. The fact that I've hardly ever seen a woman happy with her relationship makes me cringe. The fact that I've seen so many men cheat on my friends makes me never want to trust them. So much so, that turning down someone from their brethren makes me feel like I've taken revenge on my friends' behest. It sounds crazy, but it's true.

Moreover, it's not like men don't toy with our feelings. They do, they most definitely do. Talking to one girl, checking out another, partying with the third one, and family outings with the fourth one--we've all heard of such cases, right?

Also read: Is your partner micro-mistreating you? Here are the 5 hidden signs.

On Second Thoughts, It's Not Sadism, It's The Satisfaction of Getting Saved

My bitter-sour experiences have also taught me that many men are like those Chinese phones, that look great, and have Bose-speakers-level sound quality. I say that because, they seem extremely charming and perfectly-committed while they're on the path to woo you.

But once they get a whiff of the fact that they've got you, there starts the downfall. Just like those phones start hanging and blacking out randomly, the men start taking you for granted and showing their true colours.

What do you do when the phone disappoints you? You discard it and stop investing in Chinese gadgets, right? That's exactly how it works for me when it comes to men. As soon as I think I am even close to investing my emotions in them, my inner-self raises the loud 'time to discard him' alarm. I would have said that it's their lack of capability to keep me interested for too long, but that would just mean being too mean, and as I said earlier, I am a selfless woman, really. 

And no, I am not settling unless I find my Apple iPhone Rose Gold amidst the fake Chinese ones--make that pure gold, please.