I wear make-up to bed when I spend the night at my partner's. Yes, I know it's ridiculous

 

Not so long ago, a man divorcing his wife after failing to recognize her without make-up started doing the rounds on the Internet. While the world still stands divided between the idea that it was the girl who misled him and the idea that he should've loved her for the person that she was-I simply view this whole situation from a different perspective altogether. Because you now what? I can sort of relate with her.

Simply because this was also the time when I just started dating a guy, who literally fell head over heels for me or so I thought. Talk about bad timing in relationships?
Even though he never put any sort of pressure on me or expected me to dress a or look a certain way, there was probably something inside me that prompted me to always look perfect to him-even while sleeping.

Perhaps His Obsession With My 'Beauty' Was The Reason

Well, he literally went bads**t crazy about my 'seemingly' flawless skin, that 'natural' peachy glow on my cheeks, my 'naturally' rosy-pink pout, and my 'perfectly' arced eyebrows. "You're gifted and naturally beautiful" he would say literally snatching away all the credit from my expensive and perfectly-blending foundation, the pink blush, my long-stay, waterproof  lipsticks, and my set of black, jet black, brown, hazel brown, dark brown, light brown, chocolate brown set of eyebrow pencils.

Also read: Boys, some of us love our winged liners and smokey eyes. So stop with the make-up shaming.

If only he knew how the real me looked behind those layers of 'no-make-up' make up and would stop raving about "being with a girl, who didn't need anything artificial to look beautiful, unlike most girls these days." If only I had bashed him for make-up shaming then. But my mind was preoccupied with something that seemed more important at the time: We were supposed to spend our first night together.

I Was More Nervous Than Excited

No, it wasn't the idea of having sex that was giving me panic attacks (because no-sex deal was sealed). However, sleeping next to him post making out (because feelings) also meant waking up next to him the next morning. I mean, waking up-WITHOUT make-up.

It wasn't like I was an alien under those layers or as though I had the intention of misleading him.  But what if that 'naturally' uneven skin tone and that 'natural' pimple mark changed his feelings?

Also read: My boyfriend harassed me into being in a relationship with him.
 
On Second Thoughts, My Insecurities Were To Be Blamed
My insecurities then, led me on to the path of burning a bigger hole in my pocket and going for longer-than-ever-stay cosmetics that would help me sail smoothly through the night. Even though these 'one-time investments helped for a night or maybe a couple of nights, but coping with the insecurity and a horrible skin dotted with a breakout or two the next day became worse; taking away from the pleasure of affections he showered on me.

Also read: 7 genius ways to keep your face from melting in the scorching summer heat. 

It gradually culminated into frustration that turned into rebellion and one night I decided to be with him without anything but moisturizer (I'm talking in terms of cosmetics here).

Also read: Boys, some of us love our winged liners and smokey eyes. So stop with the make-up shaming.

All's Well That Ends Well
Much to my surprise, his feelings didn't change. However, there was something that changed after all. My lack of confidence. Yes, make-up can be your armour and make you feel more confident, but it can't be the basis of your confidence. Moreover, if a guy can't accept the real you, it's his loss, not yours.