Love does NOT mean playing second fiddle. Here's why being selfish is OK

We all have grown up listening to tales of love, embellished with sacrifice and suffering in large doses. Be it your favourite book or that Bollywood romance drama you keep watching over and over again, you have been made to believe that pain is synonymous with love. And that's what's imbibed in your psyche too!

So, what happens when you eventually do fall in love? You take inspiration from every tragedy queen pop culture has introduced you to.

Imagine this: your bae wants you to tag along to meet his gang, and you are dead tired to move a muscle. But, you don't want to hurt his feelings--or worse, bruise his ego--by turning him down, so you dress up pretty and humour him. After all, that's what love is, right? We're sorry to break it you--no, not really!

Ladies, it is absolutely OK to be selfish in a relationship--and here's why.

Because You Are Not 'Meena Kumari'

Ladies, your life is NOT a three-hour-long love saga. Whatever bullshit Bollywood has fed you for years, it's time to throw it all up. If you are constantly depriving yourself of little joys and things that you like, you will eventually turn into a grumpy, bitter woman. 

Because Grouchy People Don't Make Happy Lovers
There will come a time when all the 'sacrificing' will eventually take a toll on you. Come on admit it--you ain't no saint who will be selfless for eternity. You will begin to despise your partner for always making you do things you don't want to. And that's when all hell will break lose. It's simple: an unhappy person can't spread joy.

Because It's All about Balance, Baby
Lop-sided relationships don't last long. If your partner does not give two hoots about your feelings--then it's better to let go. However, if you want your bond to sustain the test of time, make sure the emotional investment is equal for both parties involved. And remember: it is OK to put yourself first if need be. This should NEVER not be a deal-breaker.

Because You Should Not Start a Trend
When you begin dating, it's but natural to get carried away by the novelty of it. And so you go a little OTT trying to make him feel like the happiest man on the planet. Girl, hold your horses. You have absolutely no idea how dangerous that territory is--so tread carefully. Once you start bending over backwards for your partner (no pun intended), he'll come to expect it--which will make breaking this pattern a hard task.

Because You Deserve All the Happiness in the World
It's simple, really: you should not be someone who makes you put your own desires on the back burner, just to flame his. If he makes you feel guilty about catering to your needs, maybe it's time for some serious thinking. You deserve the best, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise.