7 reasons why chocolate is a better partner than men

It's chocolate over men for me, any day. Photo: Shutterstock/IndiaPicture

They say, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. But you know what I say? Chocolate is straight from heaven. Now what do you want more in life? A weird, incompatible Martian or a heavenly gift of God that does you no harm at all and silently understands you?

I don't know about you all, but my priorities in life are sorted. So, I'd much rather commit myself to chocolate for life than be with a man.

Before you accuse me of confusing World Chocolate Day for World Breakup Day, take a look at my reasons for loving chocolates more than human beings--MEN to be specific:

1. For starters, tall, dark, and handsome men are quite irresistible. But hello! Chocolate is dark and absolutely gorgeous to. If you're worried about the height, go for a bigger bar, girls. You see, that's the thing about chocolate. Size is no 'bar'. Pun intended.

2. Oh! And by saying this I haven't even hurt the chocolate's ego. Because chocolate has no ego. And that makes me want to not only date it, but marry it once and for all.

3. Moreover, you usually end up indulging in a bar or two of chocolate post a fight with your man which means that you're consuming extra calories anyway, along with the trauma, stress, and hurt. Why not eliminate the torturous part and only stick to calories?

4. Date chocolate. It won't hurt. In fact, no boyfriend problems will also mean less emotional eating and fewer calories. And no stress and glowing skin and lustrous hair and a healthy life. So many advantages and you're still having second thoughts?

5. In fact, when you're low, instead of expecting your Prince Charming to come and kiss your pain away, why not turn to chocolate? It won't be busy just when you need emotional support the most. It won't even ask you questions. It will just give you a sugar rush along with the pleasure of its amazing taste and simply make the pain go away.

6. If you're worried about gaining weight, here's the thing: Chocolate comes with a wrapper that clearly mentions the calories present. So, you know what you're going for. Basically, there's no cheating, lies or manipulations. If only men came with such packaging too. Tsk Tsk.

7. Plus, weight can be managed ladies. You can lose the extra flab with just a few days of hard work at the gym, which in my opinion is absolutely peanuts compared to the struggle of dealing with a heartbreak and a life-long scar.

Also read: I would much rather have tinda and lauki than date again.