Ladies, rebound after a break-up is a terrible idea. Here's why

Break-ups are hard, but rebounds are not the solution. Photo: Shutterstock/IndiaPicture

There are absolutely no two ways about the fact that a break-up hurts. It could be a bad break-up or a seemingly clean one. But at the end of the day it hurts--it hurts and how!

The feeling of helplessness and deprivation that comes with sudden disappearance of the one you love is the toughest to battle. And in that battle, we often give in to the temptation of getting into rebound relationships, knowingly or unknowingly.

Yes, everyone has their own reasons to date another person right after a break-up. It could be just to get your mind off your ex, or a sex-only arrangement. And in your head, it could just be a way of getting back at the one who hurt you; but in reality, you are on your way to getting yourself hurt again. Because you know what?

You Seriously Need Time to Recover From That Blow

Consider this: Is it humanly possible to fill an empty bucket from an absolutely dry well? I don't think so.

Similarly, investing deep emotions in a relationship that didn't work out is likely to leave you lost, and well--empty from within. If you still think you can manage to draw out emotions from your broken, empty heart, you're really kidding yourself.

Trust me, you really need some time to heal emotionally so that you are ready to give your 100% and start afresh with a new person.

What You Really Need is Attention, NOT Affection

I'll tell you something from personal experience here. Suddenly that new guy who showers you with all the attention and love will seem like the best thing to have happened to you. But trust me, this is just life testing your resistance.  DON'T give in to the temptation--just DON'T.

Because actually, the new guy is nothing but a distraction--a distraction that takes your mind off your ex; a distraction that is nothing more than a habit; a distraction that is going to be just as temporary in your life as those painted-on tattoos in kids' birthday parties.

And the day you realize this, it will bite you in the ass and how! Because by then you would already be dating this guy and you will feel helpless, confused, trapped, and regretful for being with someone you don't exactly love.

TBH, It's Unfair to The Other Person
Your poor decision-making skills during that vulnerable time can lead to someone else getting really, really hurt in the end. Come on girls, you know the pain of a bad relationship, of a break-up. How then can you subject someone else through the same pain?  

Just because your ex hurt you, it doesn't mean you have the right to hurt someone else--who has absolutely nothing to do with it. And seriously, how many of you would want to be someone else's rebound, and then just be left stranded suddenly when they realize they "don't love you anymore"?  After all, that hurt, right?

Also, You End Up Settling For Less

If you are still not convinced with my reasons, here's the catch. Why in the world would you want to settle for someone less than what you think you deserve? Agreed, vulnerability can get the wisest of us to make the most foolish decisions. But, now that you know that regret is what awaits you at the end of your rebound stint--steer clear of it, please.

And What If You Get Serious AGAIN?
Because even in movies, one of partners gets serious in the end and f***s it all up. And as crappy as that sounds, it can actually be true. What if your sex-only arrangement backfires, and YOU end up falling for him while all he cares about is sex? There you go again. The same cycle of break-up-rebound-break-up!

Also read: So you just broke up. Here's how you can deal with it.

When Will You Learn to Find Happiness Within Yourself?

People around can suggest you to cry it out, watch Netflix, and party your ass off all they want. But only you know that crying in your partner's..oops! ex's arms is more comforting, watching Netflix with him by your side is way more relaxing, and dancing to your favourite songs with him is what makes a party actually seem like a party to you.

But honestly, NOW is the time to develop the ability to do what you like, to work on that hot-bod, to focus on your career, to spend time with friends and family, to just go out there all by yourself, and have a pretty darn good time.

Yes, the initial few times will be tough (watching the mushy couples around doesn't exactly help). But once you overcome this phase, you will learn to enjoy your own company and become fiercely independent.