Why men take women for granted and women can't help but push them

A little bit of understanding can really solve your relationship problems. Photo Courtesy: YouTube

They say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and the difference in their wiring leads to miscommunication and friction. So much so that most couples eventually begin to wish that the concept of being in a relationship completely vanishes from the face of the Earth.

After the initial rosy phase, when the excitement fades away, a new pattern emerges: Sleep. Fight. Repeat. Sounds like a perfectly toxic way of leading a relationship, right? Well, if despite all this, you guys are still holding on, there's definitely some love there and all you need is a little bit of an understanding.

Let Dr Rachna K. Singh, mental health expert and founder, director of The Mind and Wellness Studio, Delhi make tell you just how to deal with this situation.

Ladies, Understand That 'Chase' is The Real Craze
When a man starts developing feelings for a woman and rolls up his sleeves to get her to be his, he's basically at his behavioural best. And it's not just because he's trying to impress you. The chasing period is superbly satisfying for the natural hunting instincts of a man. "The initial stages of a relationship are rosy and sweet because there's a lot of excitement involved, thanks to the secretion of the happy hormone serotonin and that adrenaline rush," points out Singh. So ladies, now you know the reason behind those surprise dates, sweet gifts, 100% attention?

Also read: So, your partner is taking you for granted. Here, 6 ways to deal with it.

Men Change Because Apparently, Their Feelings Are Similar To Alcohol's Buzz
Caution: Don't take the comparison too literally. This is just to make things simpler for you to understand.

There's a reason why all the aashiqs in the world equate love with nasha. No, it doesn't have anything to do with how love makes you blind. The reason is right here for y'all to read: You know how the superbly tasty, fine whiskey works its magic slowly and steadily, makes you happy high eventually? And then when normalcy starts kicking in, all you're left with is a terrible hangover. That's exactly how the cycle of a relationship works.

"There's that initial excitement and fervour during which men shower you with all the attention in the world, but after that stability sets in, both the partners get comfortable enough to start being their natural selves in front of each other," says Singh.

Also read: How to say goodbye to a toxic partner.

Unfortunately Women Find It Difficult To Deal With The Hangover
We women, naturally wired to be more emotional, feel a sense of indifference from our partners when those 10 calls a day reduce to one or two, and when those long expressive paragraphs turn into just the one-line "I love you". That's simply because the initial behaviour of men raise the expectations of women, so much so that normalcy seems hard to digest.

Result? Incessant Cribbing, Sulking, and Fighting
They say communication is the way to solve all problems, but if you're finding it hard to communicate your problems to your man, take a moment to introspect if it's your constant complaining that's driving him away.

In this case, Singh suggests conveying your problems gently without making them seem like a rant because otherwise it can lead the man into thinking he can never make you happy.

Also read: So your partner has a promiscuous past. Here's how you can deal with it.

Yes, There's a Solution To This Seemingly-Unending Problem
Every problem has a solution and so does this one. The key is to be realistic and aware of the fact that men and women speak different languages of love. And that things are usually escalated than what they actually are during the courtship period. Understand that it's absolutely natural for the excitement to tone down eventually. So, do not keep your expectations at a sky-high level. "A good relationship involves compromises and adjustments. If you think your man is worth the effort, then the idea is to focus on the positives," explains Singh.

But Here's The Ultimate Antidote To That Killing Hangover
Yes, all that realism and understanding can help you a great deal. But you know what's the most effective way to deal with feeling attention-deprived and unloved? It is to get yourself to fall in love with yourself.

"Don't count on a man to acknowledge your presence or to make you feel better emotionally," suggests Singh. "Rather than looking for ways to get his attention either by complaining or by detaching yourself, focus on making yourself the centre of your life," she adds.

That way you can become emotionally independent and less needy and also end up giving space to the man in your life. A win-win for both the partners, we say.