I went for queer speed dating and this is what happened

Speed dating is clearly not my cup of tea. Photo: Shutterstock/IndiaPicture

When you're queer and single AF, it can be a little difficult to handle yourself on Valentine's Day weekend. When most of your friends, straight or otherwise, are gushing over their bae, you end up succumbing to the pressure of finding a date too.

Not that I am complaining about my singlehood or the fact that I don't have to deal with all the drama that comes with a relationship. But I do agree that sometimes it's good to have someone to talk to.

I have always been for online dating, mostly because there is an opportunity to know a person before you decide to meet them or date them. But, I look at speed dating as Maggi--two-minute noodle type of a blind date. All hurried, full of anxiety, and disappointing.

So when I got to know that there was special Valentine's Day gala happening for LGBTQ people that would feature speed dating, I was a little apprehensive. Actually, I was afraid that I would bump into all my exes and would actually end up having an ex-fest! But eventually, after A LOT of discussions with my bestie, I decided to give it a try.

So, on the fateful evening, I stepped out of the comfort of my quilt, got decked up in a sari, and travelled for over an hour to reach the venue of the event.

The first thing I did the minute I entered the door was count the number of women present in the candle-lit hall. I should confess something here: I'm really good at predicting my future. I had imagined the evening as an uncomfortable venture featuring a room full of gay men, and almost no women.

So, when I saw the very disappointing number of women, (btw, it was just five), I made myself believe that maybe some are still on their way. But little did I know.

The event had already started, with a girl crooning to John Legend's All Of Me on her guitar as I sat down with a beer. I made a mental note of introducing myself to the girl with the guitar, only to hear her say that she's still waiting for her ex to come back to her. Strike One.

This was followed by one of the organisers, who was a really pretty girl with specs, rapping to Nicki Minaj. I swear my mind went like "target acquired", only to overhear someone's conversation that she was straight. Strike Two.

I got up, headed for my tryst with speed dating, only to be told that only two women (including me signed up for it). The organizers were pretty sympathetic to my sad face and told me that there were gay men looking for other men on the list, but no women. Strike Three.

I met the other unlucky woman, who had signed up for speed dating, only to realize she's a friend of a friend who was there too. And we both pretty much made up our mind that we are not interested in each other and that it's a really sad day.

So, as I watched gay men being introduced to other men, I nursed my drink, and tried to be happy for them. I mean, if this event meant someone else getting a shot at love, it still counted as something.

The rest of my evening was spent discussing with random strangers and the organizers that there was no queer women or transgender visibility at the event. It wasn't about my discontent at the fact that I didn't get a single date, or meet the love of life; it was also about the fact that women are more closeted than men in our country. I also discussed the intricacies of patriarchy that plagues women, straight or otherwise, and what we can do to make places safer for them. Fun evening, right?

While other people at the event were receiving roses from their admirers, I was planning a woman-only event with the organizers. Although, I did get a pity rose from them because of my sari and the fact that I was the most disappointed person at the party!

What I learned from this experience was that India probably isn't ready for speed dating, let alone speed dating for queer/gay women. Would I try my luck at something similar? Maybe yes, only if I know how many women will be at the event beforehand!

So how am I spending my Valentine's Day you ask, well with my single friends, because that's fun!