Thanks to patriarchy, here are 4 sexist things that I am not able to let go of

Patriarchy makes it difficult to give up certain practices--even when I know they're stupid.

Prapti Elizabeth Prapti Elizabeth
सितंबर 07, 2017
You are a slave to patriarchy and you don't even realize it. Photo Courtesy:

 

The bitter truth about existing as a woman is that half your life is spent worrying about what people might think. Honestly, half my existence is defined by what others think of me and if I have offended anyone with my choices. It's living with apologies--be it for the clothes I wear, the way I speak, and the tone I use. It's always a constant concern.

Sadly, that's what conditioning is all about. It's the first reaction we give to things, it's how we've been brought up, and it's what we've been fed. And try as I may, these are the things I don't want to worry about--but it just happens:

The Length And Breadth of My Clothes

It's so senseless and so tiring--standing in front of the mirror, judging your clothes, and wondering if you could be subjected to harassment. And as years add on to my existence, I can't help but seethe in anger over this. Even today, if I look at a girl dressed in what's considered 'inappropriate' clothing, the first thought that crosses my mind is that she's not an 'ache ghar ki ladki'. The second line of thought, thankfully, is that the dress's indecency is a construct of my mind. It's something that's been fed to me, and all those years of education could do nothing but maybe dull it a little--and that's abundantly sad.

The Energy I Have to Put Into Looking Presentable

Living with my brother made it clear how much I had to look clean and presentable, whereas he could go on with life any which way he pleased. When I was lectured about being presentable, he was let loose; where I was asked to bathe and comb my hair the moment I woke up, he'd laze in front of the TV and brush his teeth moments before breakfast was served. That upbringing still rattles my head. It's almost like a flaw I want to do away with but can't because the other option is not wired into my system. And gosh, have I tried!

What The Hell is 'Unwanted' Hair?

We have talked about this to death. There is a prospering industry, dedicated to the cause of hair removal treatment for women. You see, the hair on my body is ugly. It's funny how something so natural is so unwanted--and that too--exclusively for women. Even worse, it's minting people money. In fact, I tried leaving this idea behind. I tried going about life with all my 'unwanted' hair on me and I realized nobody really cared. But the conditioning that 'clean' means no hair on my arms, legs, and underarms was so strong that my outrage turned into self-loathing and I ended up spending to look 'clean' again. That's just sad.

The Eighteenth Century Etiquettes That I don't Want to Follow

This is one thing I have kind of moved on from, but the number of times I've been told to behave in a ladylike manner is beyond infuriating. Even then I cross my ankles, sit with legs together (even in jeans, man), and try to be as soft-spoken as possible, all because that's what I'd been taught for 25 years. There's so much pressure to adhere to codes of conduct that even when I know that these diktats are nothing but nonsense, it does not stop me from lowering my volume or crossing my ankles. It makes existence so sad.

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