The essential traits of an ideal Muslim woman, and why I'll never be her

Stop judging me all the time just because I am a Muslim woman. Photo Courtesy: YouTube/ PrakashJhaProductions

Let me say this loud and clear--being born a Muslim woman comes with its fair share of baggage. But, before you bombard me with hate for suggesting something so blasphemous, try being honest to yourself for two minutes. Didn't you just judge me in a jiffy for making such claims? You don't know me. You have no idea what my story is. And yet, you must have already created a perception of me without giving me the chance to explain what I mean.

And that's where the problem lies--being judged constantly. Why? Because most people have this notion of a good Muslim woman in their heads, which is too idealistic to be true. And if I falter or fail to meet your expectations, I am labelled a bad Muslim. Someone, who is maligning your precious faith.

Don't get me wrong, I have uttermost respect for the religion I was born into. But, that alone doesn't dictate my life. Cultural influence too is a big part of my lifestyle and I see nothing wrong with it. For instance, being born into a multi-cultural family, I was never asked to cover my head with a hijab. In fact, no woman in my family ever did. I understand that many Muslim women around the globe choose to become a hijabi and that's entirely their choice.

But, no one should be shamed for not wearing one or forced into donning it. Unfortunately, I have been rebuked by many people of my community, who feel it's their moral obligation to question my identity and shove their beliefs down my throat.

I cannot and will not adhere to nonsensical diktats as long as I am alive. Photo: Shutterstock/ IndiaPicture

Up next comes the month of Ramadan, which gives a free pass to all pseudo-believers the right to hurl insensitive comments at me. Why? Because I am unable to fast for 30 days straight and often skip a few. Something that manages to irk the overtly religious sorts. So, when the holy month commences, I am constantly shamed for not fulfilling my religious duties. And thus begins a barrage of insults and judgments.

Somehow that is still bearable, but things just get out of hand when I am rebuked for dressing up the way I do. No, it's got nothing to do with women safety playing a role here but more with the responsibility that comes along with being a Muslim woman. Yes, sure not everyone person I come across is small-minded to criticize my fashion sense, but such people do form a vast majority.

I am not told to cover up because perverts roam the streets in this country, but I am dissed for my audacity to wear a crop top or a dress despite being a Muslim woman.

It's exhausting--really. This list of dos and don'ts that some people have chalked out for the benefit of Muslim women. To be honest, I cannot and will not adhere to nonsensical diktats as long as I am alive--even if I have to fight a thousand battles every day.

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