Why ban triple talaq? Let's just allow women of all religions to use it against their husbands

Much has been said about the toxicity of triple talaq. How it endangers the marital status of Muslim women, makes them vulnerable to abuse, and threatens their rights. Hell, BJP even aced Uttar Pradesh polls riding on the sentiments of such women.

So, while the newly-appointed Chief Minister of UP Yogi Adityanath is busy comparing it to Draupadi's cheer-haran and urging people to speak up against it, Prime Minister Narendra Modi is in favour of a complete ban of the practice.

Also read: Muslim women across India back petition drafted by RSS against triple talaq

However, we have a brilliant idea on how to tackle the entire issue and ensure that the rights of women are not compromised with. Here it goes: Let's just allow women across all religions to exercise triple talaq--with a few minor tweaks, of course.

Now, before you ridicule us for suggesting something as blasphemous as this, hear us out.

The practice of triple talaq allows a Muslim man to divorce his wife by uttering the word 'talaq' thrice. Right? What if we take away this so-called power from the men and give it to the women, irrespective of their faiths? Believe it or not, it will empower them beyond belief.

And there are perks. To be precise, here are a few:

Instant Relief From The Moronic Husband
Triple talaq ensures instant results. Say those three magic words and you are done. So, if a woman can't take the bullshit from her husband anymore, she gets to part ways with him without much hassle. She is done with him in a blink of an eye. Also, this way she gets to choose and not be a victim.

Freedom From The Legal Hassle
Imagine how much money women in India would save, if they can just divorce their husbands by saying 'talaq, talaq, talaq.' It's no secret that divorces cost money and so do the lawyers. And on top of that tareek pe tareek is a pain. But, with the power of triple talaq in their hands, they would not have to shell big bucks.

Also read: Triple talaq is a violation of women rights, says Allahabad HC

What's Yours Is Mine
A man and a woman in marriage share everything. The house, the finances, and of course their lives. So, why should it be any different when they part ways? How about we tweak the traditional sexist practice just a teeny bit and make it more favourable to women. Basically, this power should come along with a mandate that allows women 50% of their husbands' total worth. How's that?

Mommy Gets The Children
Enough with the custody battles. They are a waste of time and not to mention, traumatizing for the kids. Thus, this revamped practice of age-old triple talaq should include another clause--the children go with the mommy. After all, kids need their mothers, right?

The Hunted Will Become The Hunter
Okay not literally, but the shift in power will do some wondrous things. For starters, women in marriages will cease to be the victim. Instead, they will have a more solid ground to stand on. No man in their right mind would dare to abuse, torture, cheat, or misbehave with his wife, unless he is ready to get talaq-ed!