Apparently, I can't wear black because I'm newly married. Why doesn't the same rule apply to my husband?

Marriage can't dictate my choices and that includes my love for the colour black.

Sarwat Fatima Sarwat Fatima
जून 08, 2017
Why should matrimony dictate your colour choices? Photo Courtesy: Facebook/ KareenaKapoorFc


Do you know what my most favourite colour in the world is? BLACK. It's classy, it's chic, it makes you look slim, and it's black. What other reason do you need to fall in love with it? So, no points for guessing that half of the clothes that I own are black in colour. An asset that I was really proud of--until recently.

But, it so happened that I got hitched a couple of months ago. And things changed. If you are wondering what my marriage has to do with my pain of parting from my favourite colour, then let me tell you this: I was strictly told by my mother, mother-in-law, and all the well-meaning neighbourhood aunties that I should bid adieu to my prized black shirts. Why? Because black is ominous. It's a colour you wear while grieving. And I, a newly-wed bride, should refrain from sporting anything that is manhoos.

 

So, you can imagine how angry I felt. Why should matrimony dictate your colour choices? But, being the rebel that I am, I sneaked some of my favourites to my sasuraal, hoping that my family would eventually grow tired of this bizarre rule.

Interestingly, just a couple of weeks after the wedding, I saw my husband getting ready for his office. And you know what? He was all decked up in a black formal shirt. My joy knew no bounds when I found out that my husband was not allergic to my favourite colour. I was interested to see how my mommy-in-law would react to his newly wedded son wearing black to work. Surprisingly, she didn't even notice his shirt.

Also read: Marriage turned an independent girlfriend into a clingy wife. Yes, I am blaming patriarchy for it

Growing bolder, I picked out a black loose tee from my wardrobe and donned it on with confidence. But, the moment a stepped out, I was confronted by the neighbourhood aunties, who had decided to pay us a visit at that very hour. They clicked their tongues in disappointment and asked me whether I was in mourning. When I replied in negative, they pointed out that my ensemble indicated that I did. And it was not auspicious for a married woman to wear all black.

Seriously, I fail to understand the correlation between the colour and my marital status. And what about the man here? He's a newly-wed too. Don't the same rules apply to him? Well, unfortunately not. Because he is a MAN. It's okay for him to wear shorts, black t-shirts, or go shirtless whenever he desires to do so. Marriage and all the rituals that come along with it don't ask a man to change. It's the woman who has to give up on her choices.

And when I did try to have the same discussion with the female lot, I was left utterly disappointed with their logic. According to them, me wearing a black ensemble signified tragedy and bad luck. However, the same line of reasoning was invalid when it came to my husband.

But, let me tell you this. I am not a woman who likes to go down without putting up a fight--and I did. This might seem like a topic too trivial to argue over, but to me it wasn't. The idea in itself is much more in magnitude than my love for the colour. The burden of bringing good luck to the family should not fall on the woman's shoulders at all. So, I invested a lot of time in trying to make the female clan understand and thankfully I succeeded.

And guess what? Now, that I am writing about the incident for you to read, guess what I am wearing. A black tee, of course.

Also read: I am a newly-married woman, and I don't see the point stepping out wearing my marital status on my dupatta

 

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