I am a Muslim woman, and thank you bhakts but I don't need any saving

Instead, let's save women (of all religions) from sexual violence, please.

Sarwat Fatima Sarwat Fatima
मार्च 28, 2017
Not all sub-communities practice the concept of verbal talaq, at least, not the one that I was born into. Photo Courtesy: YouTube/SonyMusicIndia

For years, my existence has been plagued by one incessant question: "But, you don't look like a Muslim?" Well, I have been trying really hard all this time, to come up with an apt reply, but still haven't.

The reason why I am bombarded with deranged queries is mostly because I don't fit into the stereotype, so generously carved out by the society and hardliners. My being, my food choices, and my wardrobe are not defined by my faith. And that's what leaves most people perplexed, mostly bhakts.

They insist that I must be saved from the burden of my religion and the exploitation that I am subjected to as a Muslim woman. Freedom from the tyrannical hijab, the plague of multiple marriages, and triple talaq. My timeline is often flooded with 'well-meaning' hardliners, telling me that my saviour is here, who will make sure that I and other women of my faith will no longer be a victim of religion-based patriarchy.

To all such bhakts, I would like to say--thanks, but no thanks. What they don't know is that Islam comes in all shapes and sizes, and by that I mean there are thousands of sub-divisions within the religion itself, each very different from one other.

Also read: The struggle of finding a house in Delhi as a single Muslim woman

Not all sub-communities practice the concept of verbal talaq, at least, not the one that I was born into. Neither have I ever worn a hijab or a burqa in my life. To come to think of it, it's more of a lifestyle choice adopted by families who believe in it; but, to say that all Muslim women must be saved from the oppressive piece of clothing, would actually be wrong. Because there are some, who embrace it by choice. And no one, no matter how well-meaning their intentions are, should force such women to choose otherwise.

Also, it's not just about the clothing or the marriage practice, the freedom extends well beyond the periphery of other mundane things. Being a Muslim woman, I am often asked how on earth did my parents allow me study away from my hometown and pursue a career, or why wasn't I married off to one of my cousins in my early twenties?

So, putting inquisitiveness to rest, here's my answer: not every family is alike. Just like in any other religion in the world--people are different. Their cultural values are different. And their set of traditions is different. Not every Muslim woman is an aggrieved victim of brutalization, begging to be rescued. So, let's not generalize.

Dear bhakts, if you are really that concerned about the status of women in the society, why not focus on the whole gender rather than in segments. Women, irrespective of their religion, are raped, molested, misbehaved with, discriminated against, and sexually harassed at workplace. Save them. They need it more.

Also read: 5 things I get to hear when I tell people that I am a Muslim and a vegetarian

 

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