I prefer Honey Singh to David Guetta. Now spare me the horror of your judgments, please

I love Diljeet Dosanjh and Honey Singh. So what? Photo Courtesy: YouTube

In the 23 years of my existence, I have never understood these two very important things in life: One, how Ranveer Singh manages to turn me on without even batting an eyelid (his name is enough). And two, how Tomorrowland-tickets are sold faster than my neighbourhood aunties spread gossip.

What's the fun in travelling all the way to Europe and grooving to music that sounds like the ambulance siren? I mean, I can drop you outside a hospital and you can enjoy a live concert there all you want. Plus, it won't even hurt your pocket. You see how large-hearted we Punjabi-songs listeners are?

Honestly, I don't even get the lyrics of these songs. The only reason I know that some random track of David Guetta's has an overdose of the words 'bang my head' is because that's exactly what I feel like doing when I listen to his songs.

And the only reason I know someone called Dead Mau5 isn't dead after all is because Daler Mehendi once performed with him live.  Which is exactly why I decided to give his songs a try. But I was more disappointed with Daler paaji than I was with Dead Mau5 for endorsing his absolutely dead songs.

Not just are our desi mundas better, they even sound better. Or at least, their names do. Daler Mehendi, Raftaar, Badshah, Sukh-E Muzical Doctorz, and Bohemia are the real bosses. Even if Steve Aoki and David Guetta add a hundred Yo-Yos in front of their names, they still can't be as cool as our International Villager Yo Yo Honey Singh. Get that?

You can judge me all you want, call me gawaar all you want, but the truth is that I am not scared to admit that I enjoy the beat of the dhol to some computer-generated music with absolutely meaningless lyrics. My life's motto is simple: Steve Aoki, but saanu ki? So just take it easy and Bolo Ta Ra Ra Ra.

Have you ever tried giving "hai ghar, hai paisa, hai gaadi, ab do jodon mein ladki bhejo ladki hui humaari, OK Bye" a chance? Much better than, "I am bullet-proof, I am Titanium". No, you are just a human being, with an annoyingly superficial taste in music.

I can bet my life over the fact that no song in this world can give you the satisfaction of "panj taara theke utte behke taareya main tera saara gussa" post a bitter break up.

And come on, don't lie to yourself. Five Patiala Pegs down, only Bapu Laden touches your soul, not some trance-electro-house-type sh*t.