I'm a momma's girl who can give any momma's boy a run for his money

Dear future husband, my mom is your dahej, get it?

Sonaakshi Kohli Sonaakshi Kohli
अप्रैल 06, 2017
Mommy be the best. Photo Courtesy: Twitter/SalmanSonamFC

I would have loved to start by saying that it all began when I came into this world and saw the most beautiful face in the universe for the very first time. But I think it began way before that. It started on the very day my formation took place in my mother's fallopian tube because that's how hopelessly and deeply I am in love with her.

On second thoughts, maybe I've been with her in some form or the other since the time life happened on earth. My kundli is proof as it says that in my previous birth my mom and I were plants and we've been together ever since, in spite of the thorns in our stems.

I hope you get that I was referring to my siblings as thorns there. Because, unfortunately by virtue of their birth, they also get a part of her affection though I make sure that I get the major part, which amounts to almost 99% of her time, love, and affection.


As a part of that, I make sure that they come to believe that they are adopted. But because they resemble my parents (a little less than I do), they don't believe me. But I am still at it.

In fact, I have absolutely no qualms in admitting that my obsession with my mother is almost crazy. So much so that I feel had I not been young and innocent at the time, my siblings won't have come to this world. Firstly because I hate to share my mother's love with them and secondly because I won't have let even my father touch her. Exaggeration, but you get the drift, right?

Momma's boys can be all protective about their mothers, listen to everything their mother says, but I can bet my life on the fact that none of them can love their mothers as much as I do.

Conventionally, I am expected to be a daddy's girl/ daddy's princess/papa ki pari, but I've never been the conventional sorts and neither have my choices or love been anything close to normal.

Also read: How the solah-somvaar fasting forced by my mother turned out to be a healthy blessing.

Not that I don't love my father. But being told that I have my mother's eyes gives me more pleasure than being told that I have my dad's nose. My father is no less than Hrithik Roshan, but mom's even better than Katrina.

In fact, she's so delicate that every time she wears a sari, I melt like ice in the oven. Had breathing not been an issue, I would have simply wrapped her up in plastic to protect her from the harshness of the world.


If that makes you think, she's fragile, you are highly mistaken. One of the reasons I long to be with her and like her in life is also because she's super-strong, bold, and opinionated. Even her elementary-class potty jokes make me laugh harder than Kapil Sharma and Sunil Grover together (which might not happen any more).

Also read: 5 ways to calm down your loud Punjabi mother effortlessly.

You could argue that most momma's boys text and call their mothers a bit too frequently. But here also, I beat them all with a huge margin.  To emerge winner in this competition, I've actually drained my bank balance on a phone that lets me video call my mother any time I feel like. Because eight hours in office without seeing her face are tougher than climbing the Everest. Night stays at friend's places too were getting tougher. And hence that had to be done.


In fact, I can talk mommy, I can walk mommy, I can laugh mommy, because mommy be the best.

 

 

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