Dear Ranveer Singh, if you ever start acting 'normal', I will break up with you

You know what's common between Ranveer Singh and Virat Kohli apart from Anushka Sharma? Both these lucky men have my heart. But just as Ranveer swept away all the awards for Bajirao Mastani last year, he happens to be the clear winner here as well.

After all, a man who makes earnest efforts always gets the girl. If you're wondering what those efforts are in my seemingly one-sided love story, you really need a reality check (more than I do). Have you not noticed how my Bajirao steps out in his absolutely crazy outfits, much against the wishes of the world?

Also read: Dear male celebs, stop trying to copy Ranveer's style. You don't have what it takes.

There are three reasons why he does that, or so I'd like to believe. Firstly, he knows he's a league apart and that only he can pull the eccentricity off. Secondly, he also does it to keep the other women (who might get attracted to his washboard abs, those deep eyes, and that childlike smile) away just so that I am secure. Thirdly, owing to our busy schedules, we can't really make the time for each other you see, so this is just his way of bringing a smile to my face time and again.

Look at how lackluster and lifeless he seems when he acts 'normal'. This must have been the day we had a fight because of Deepika.

You want to know how it felt when I saw him not being nasty at all. This is how:

But he more than made up for it last night by being himself. Check this out:

P.S. Don't even dare to judge him for the radio-like bag in his hand. Just like Aamir Khan in PK, he uses it to listen to my voice recording when he misses me.

And seeing him like this, my mood instantly changes to:

Also watch: Ranveer Singh wore an all-neon outfit on voting day in Mumbai. And here's what his fans have to say.

If you've not burst into flames because of jealousy yet and are trying to figure out the secret behind out awesome, long-distance relationship, there's something else you might want to know.

Yes, he received a lot of flak for dressing up like a condom once, but no one really knows that it was a subtle (or maybe, not-so subtle) hint for me. The things we do for love. Tsk. Tsk.

Oops! Did I just reveal our dirty little secret there?