"In college, I popped girls' bra straps in class, from behind"

Have you abused someone as well?

Tina Das Tina Das
अक्टूबर 17, 2017
Sexual abuse is more common than it seems

#MeToo made it a bit easier for women to open up about the sexual abuse they have faced in their life; it made life difficult too, with long repressed memories coming up, threatening to break your composure. It brought out anger, and helplessness- it brought out what it feels to be touched without consent.

It brought out men who have been abused, and it's important in a world where most of us believe that only women are abused. But most importantly, it made someone like Shariq Rafeek articulate something important- a lot of us are abusers too, with or without our knowledge.

Here is Shariq's tweet:

 

Click on it to read about more confessions he made and reactions to those confessions.

It highlights these things:

1.    Consent

2.    Masculinity

3.    Not accepting what was happening

4.    Encouragement from friends.

Men or women, we are all witnesses to violence. In the case of men, abusive behavior is often justified, in the name of 'masculinity' and anyone who refuses to act 'masculine' is not 'man enough'. It's hard to realize that what you are doing is wrong and even harder to put it out. The confession does not justify his acts; it merely serves to tell you that you too might have been complicit in abuse of a woman.

Opening bras from behind, aggressively asking out women, not understanding reluctance to being lewd - all often for a laugh. A laugh that will cause a deep impression in a woman's mind, a laugh that might force her to restrict her interaction with men altogether.

Have you been doing it as well? It's time to own up.

Watch women talk about their experiences of abuse here:

 

 

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