India's obsession with having a male child has made me fearful of pregnancy

Yes, it's my oven. But, I have no control over the baby's gender.

Anonymous Naari Anonymous Naari
जुलाई 17, 2017
When will we start accepting that women are equal to men? Photo: Shutterstock/ IndiaPicture


India is a country obsessed with a male child. This ghar ka chirag is bestowed with a very important task. You see, it's the male heir, who will carry forward the family name, whereas the so-called paraya dhan aka female lot will migrate to a new home. So, thanks to the illogical social psyche, the responsibility to grant the family a male child lies solely in the womb of a woman. Yes, yes--we all know how scientifically untrue it is. However, despite the common knowledge and scientific proofs it's always the woman who ends up getting blamed for not producing a male heir.

Now, I have read enough news reports to realize that despite the facts being out there, no one really gives two hoots about them. And all of this has literally scared the bejesus out of me. So much so that I am terrified of a pregnancy and to God knows what it might lead to.

For starters…

The Pressure Is Too Much To Handle
Imagine a whole clan counting upon you to produce a male child when it's really not in your hands. Now, just because it's your 'oven,' it really doesn't mean that it's you, who influences the gender of the kid. Most importantly, it scary to even imagine the pressure some women are put through to give birth to a baby boy. Seriously, it's like asking an average human being to fly. It's just beyond anyone's control, but the pressure is downright daunting.

I Shudder At The Thought Of Getting Pregnant
I am a woman, but I have no plans of getting pregnant anytime soon--or later too. Why? Because I am petrified of what might happen when I do. I have seen enough aunties imparting unsolicited advice to pregnant women on how to conceive a male child. The list of advice is just ridiculous. Right from giving up tangy foods to not sleeping in a particular direction--it's all too absurd. And imagine putting up with all the BS once you are knocked up. Heaves no!

It Will Be Infuriating If Someone Makes It About Me

If I do end up pregnant, I will be riddled with a thousand different thoughts every day. The most conspicuous of them being: what will I say if people decide that it's because of me that my in-laws have been denied a male heir? Just the thought alone is infuriating enough. Since I have witnessed women being blamed for not giving birth to a boy, I can't even begin to imagine the same treatment being meted out to me. Really! How is it even possible to control a baby's gender? Also, I am not ready to accept the birth of a girl child as a personal failure. Because:

Girls Are Not Inferior To Boys
Do we really need a proof to state the obvious. Though, some people still mourn the birth of a girl child, women around the world are proving that they are in no way, whatsoever, any lesser to men. And yet, some flock-minded families insist on celebrating the birth of a male child only. This pains my heart beyond words.

So, basically--the mania, the obsession with the male gender is responsible for a lot of problems in India--including my fear of a pregnancy.

Also read: Is the advice given to pregnant women to avoid alcohol actually sexist?

Also read: VHP activists can't bear to see single pregnant women get married. Not even in movies

 

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