Because waiting for the man and the moon on an empty stomach is totally your choice

This Karva Chauth, fast only if you feel like. Photo: Shutterstock/IndiaPicture

It's that time of the year again. No, it's not Christmas. Diwali is still a little far away. But if you're married woman, you know 'tis the season of waiting for your man and the moon on an empty stomach. 

You can blame your mother-in-law all you want for this monstrosity of a festival, but the truth is the origins of Karwa Chauth go back to the time of Mahabharata. 

You see, ever since Savitri implored Yamaraja to rescue her husband, Satyavan, from the clasps of death this glorious festival rose to fame.

If this wasn't a solid enough reason for women to starve themselves, there exists an equally (il)logical theory which is used to convince us to abstain from food and well--water. After all, whoever said water is indispensable for humans to survive was a misinformed fool, right?

Anyway, in ancient times, when men went away to fight wars or simply set out on long journeys during the dry season, their wives fasted and prayed for their well-being and prolonged life.

You would think, in the day and age of superfast jet travel and 4G cellular connections, starving yourself for the health and wealth of your swami is a wasted effort. And there is no way in hell, Yamaraj is answering our e-mails. So then, why is this pesky little tradition still in fashion?

Because, back when marriage was strictly considered to be a one-way ticket out of their maternal homes for brides, this day was celebrated so that newlywed women could find and bond with a confidante/sakhi/BFF in her husband's household. What perhaps started as a totally feminist kitty party, soon became a practice meant to glorify bread-winning husbands and starve housewives. (We totally blame mythical tales for this).

Maybe It's Dil-logical, But Definitely Far From Logical
Sluggishness, fatigue, crankiness, weakness, nausea--no, I am not talking about pregnancy symptoms here. These are just a few effects of not eating or drinking anything for a long duration. Oh, and did I mention fainting, especially when you are fasting in spite of being a full-fledged working woman?

Apparently, not eating till your lunar friend shows up will magically lengthen your other half's life, and maybe magically also shorten yours, just saying.

Also, if the rationalism in you urges you to make the effort, do check out the countries with the highest life expectancy. Looking at the numbers, it seems like the Monaco women fast for months together for their husbands' longevity. And our Indian dudes? Well, they are not even in the top 100. Maybe we're not fasting hard enough.

Don't Let the Saasu Maa Dictate You

There are a lot of reasons you may want to observe Karwa Chauth: Maybe it's your immense love for tradition. Maybe it's your immense love for your spouse. Perhaps it's just the thrill of testing your self-control by fasting for an entire day. Better yet, it's the excitement of getting to don your bridal finery for that pre-fast-breaking kitty party that gets you going. If nothing else, at least there's that gift from the pati parmeshwar waiting for you at the end of the day.

Whatever your reasons are, it's all okay--till the time it's not that one nagging relative (yes, we're talking about that super-annoying auntyji) pressurising you into doing it. We're a democratic country after all.

In a Democracy, Gender Equality is Still a Thing
Give in to the love and respect for traditions, but don't give into anything that asks you treat the man in my life like a god--unless of course, he decides to be like Raj from DDLJ and reciprocate the effort to his darling Simran (you, d-uh). But what kind of love requires torturing each other?

Also, if you go by the logic of the Karva Chauth lovers, if the woman is the only one who fasts then it means he gets to live longer and you die sooner? Your man can't even find his shirt in his closet, so what will he do without you, anyway?