5 things I make my friends and family go through when I'm PMSing. Sorry, not sorry
Because they literally signed up for this.
You know, when I was bullied for weighing 62 kilos at the age of 10, my mother told me I was different and special. It is now that I realize she was actually right.
Yes, biologically, I am like any other woman. So just like them, the oestrogen and progesterone levels in my body hit an all-time low when Aunty Flo is on her way. But unlike the others, my periods convert me into some sort of a gyaani devi with extraordinary giving powers.
I Give My Loved Ones a Chance to Be Versatile in Life
What's the fun in playing a friend all the frickin' time? When I PMS, I don the director's hat and make my friend's play my nanny. Because every time I burst into tears due to some very valid reasons that range from my TATA Sky set-top box not receiving a signal or just remembering my 10-year-old break-up, my close ones have no option but to console me with some equally-valid solutions like giving Ratan Tata's supaari because he can't take care of my needs any more.
I Also Add Spice to Their Lives
Because I am a moody-ass woman during that time of the month. I can be a stripper one instant and a fully-charged bull in attacking mode the very next. They basically enjoy the sheer pleasure of witnessing different shades of my absolutely enigmatic personality. Lucky assh***s, I tell you.
Plus, I Give Them a Back-Up Option for Their Career
Just in case their career doesn't go according to their plans, they can be delivery boys and girls too. I make sure their delivery skills are on point by making the most bizarre demands (ranging from ice-cream to pizzas to halwa) at the most bizarre hours.
They Also Get To Experience Beauty At Its Best
Simply because my friends get to check out my pretty hands very frequently during this time. My middle finger is the answer to every 'hi', 'hello', 'you look pale', 'what happened', and 'I love you'. They must know my exact ring size by now. If only engagement rings were worn in the middle finger. Tsk. Tsk.
I Teach Them The Virtue of Sharing
Because when it's that time of the month, my boyfriend's clothes are my clothes, my best friend's bed is my bed, my brother's packet of chips is mine, my mother's Kyuki-Saas-Bhi-Kabhi-Bahu-Thi slot on T.V. becomes my Mujhse-Dosti-Karoge slot. Yes, I plead guilty of stooping to the level of watching such movies, but hello! Isn't doing whatever the f***k I want when I am PMSing my fundamental right in life?